here i am again i last looked at this site in July and was truely inspired but for some reason probably due to being stoned more often than not i have not posted how i have been doing.
I now feel more positive like i could actually go a week without smoking.
i tried to get my frame of mind right for this day yestersday started with a sunday morning spliff followed by a sleep then i got up and did an early morning clear out which lasted all day, i think it is psychological from clearing out setting up things i need to do e.g got all my gym clothes out.
i smoked my last spliff last night and woke at 4am this morning feeling anxious about going without this week.
however its now 8pm and i dont have any and dont plan to buy. instaed i am planning what i will do tom this will involve going to the gymn i have gained 2 stone since smoking which has really made me feel worse, although i have expensive gym membership i do not use this.
I have tried various strategies to stop i go to an addiction centre but i know the only person who can help me quit is ME!
i have changed my frame of mind and i plan to go all week without and go to the gym 4 times this week starting tom AM providing i can sleep well tonight.
sorry if i am boring anyone but as i am sure you are aware i am trying to put myself under pressure to change,
i have a good job and money and i dont want to make the same newyears resolution 2 years in a row i need to gain control of this addiction by a least cutting down permanelty i cant think of quitting for ever but at least going a few days will ensure that i actually will do this.
looking at all the posts i feel jealous of all these people who have not smoked for months weeks or even days but hopefull i will at least manage this week only 5 days.
instead of being negative i want to feel inspired by these people.
i often feel guilt about all the time i have wasted the weight i have gained and the financial hardship i have endured i was recently declared bankrupt but i am determined to focus on the positives and think of a brighter future.
Anyone who thinks cannabis is not a problem e.g. my friends who still smoke are in denial it affects your mind and for me limits my abilities i have achieved a good qualification and landed a good job but it took me double the time to get this job as i lacked motivation and confidence to believe in myself all due to weed.
i want to leave this on a good note and let people know its all a state of mind and things can change greatly if you just believe you can change what you want to.
so here i go again, this has helped me work out my thoughts and help me keep focused for the very long week i am about to endure thinking of cravings and romancing this addiction.
my main reason for this quit day is last week i told someeone at work i felt like knocking them out i think this was a mood swing i feel the need to gain a better control of my life and my emotions in particular so here is to the future.
good luck to all th potential quitters