How the anger has ruined my life

Thanks you NLPsycholoy the idea of what I can do to sooth myself when I get angry

Clozza123 wrote:when I was younger I never use to get angry but as I was growing up I started to get angry quite easily and its starting to ruin my life and I really don't know how I am gonna get my anger to calm down so I don't lash out like I was.

Now that I am 19 I have tried quite a few things to get my anger to calm down but it's nothing's really working and it's ruining my life as I also have a mental health problem and I am struggling to control it as I am lashing out i donot realise that I am hurting people who haven't or doesn't deserve it and I have lost my friends thanks to the way I am when I am angry and my anger is that back that I have pushed my mum to a point and she has ended up packing my things and nearly kicking me out this is how much that the anger has ruined my life and I only want to be the carm and happy person that I once was not this angry person that I am.

I hope that there is away for me to get the anger to calm down so it doesn't ruin my life even more

Dear Clozza,

there is Anger and then there is ANGER. Reading your Post, it strikes me that even you yourself are daunted by the sheer scale of your ANGER. It just seems to go beyond the Normal Range. Is that what it seems like to you?

You mentioned having a Mental Health Problem... is that In Addition to Anger? If you have Another Condition, may I ask what it is? It may have some bearing on your Anger Problem.

Anyway I may have SOMETHING THAT COULD REALLY HELP -- Several Months ago this Forum received a Post from a man who had been Violently Angry -- Really Extreme -- Hurting People and Destroying Property and being sent to Jail repeatedly for it. FINALLY, some Medical Professional recognized the Extreme Nature of his Aggressiveness and Hostility and suggested MEDICATION. He was given the tiniest little dose of one of the Anti-Psychotic Drugs... to take just once every 3 days... and SUDDENLY ALL AT ONCE he became Quite Normal and Peaceful. You see, for YEARS he had Tried with all his Heart, Mind and Soul to Calm Down, but He was Simply Beyond His Own Power to Control Himself. Apparently the Medication pulled some Imbalance back into line and straightened him out enough so that all of his Efforts and Will Power were now able to finally deliver on their full force and power -- he became a Model of Good Behavior! I asked him if he had any Detrimental Side Effects, and he couldn't identify a single problem with being on Meds. It Worked Good and did nothing Bad. It was sort of a Miracle of Modern Medicine.

Now here you are, at 19 years old. You know, that is the Age when This Kind of Thing can Really Kick In. For instance, there used to be what was called "Early Adult Onset Schizophrenia", but I believe they don't 'have' Schizophrenics anymore, that is, they have a New Diagnosis for that kind of thing... certainly they did not Cure It All Away! You know, it makes it difficult to TALK about Mental Health Issues if the Medical Health Industry keeps changing all the WORDS every 10 years so. They must be getting Copyright Payments every time they think of a new word for Crazy. But the Important Thing here for You is that you might meet the Profile for this Kind of a Problem.

Anyway, you could try showing your Mother this Reply. You would need to go to a Psychiatrist, that is a 'Shrink' that can prescribe MEDS... Psychologists are the ones that can just Talk. I am thinking that you might be beyond Talk. Now, the way some Health Plans work, is they may send you to a Psychologist (a Talker) to evaluated you for possibly 'referring' you to a Psychiatrist (the one with the Prescription Pad). But, you had a few distinctly 'British' word usages in your Post and so your Health Care System may be quite different from what I know anything about. But DO ask around and find out how you should go about being Evaluated for Pharmaceutical Intervention with your Extreme Anger and Aggression Problem.

Please, keep us informed here of your progress. Certainly, if you think Ordinary Anger Management Techniques would be of use to you, well, we could do that too. I have written quite a few INFO POSTS for this Forum to help people who are in that Normal Range of Anger... you could search them up and read them, if you think they might help. But my hunch right now is that there is Some Imbalance in your Neuro-Chemistry that is seriously effecting your ability to Control your Behavior, and if a Little Pill can fix it, well that would be great.

Oh! A Warning! Don't Let them Put You On Any of the Common ANTI-DEPRESSANTS (serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are some of the most commonly prescribed antidepressants available. They include Celexa, Lexapro, Luvox, Paxil, Prozac, and Zoloft. ) For one thing, a lot of people would say that THEY DON'T WORK -- they are just a Big Cash Cow for the Pharmaceutical Industries is a very common suspicion, BUT the KNOWN Side Effects are VERY COMMON -- it would seem that nobody escapes the Side Effects of These Things. You are looking at Very Expensive Meds that could likely only do you a lot of Harm, but the Doctor who Prescribes them would get "a cut of the action" ... I believe the Pharmaceutical Companies have 'Kick Back' arrangements with their Doctors. So, BE warned! What you would want would have to be Something Quite Different. Something probably for "Bi-Polar Syndrome" which is kind of a Catch All Diagnosis for your Kind of 'Problem'.

Good luck, and again, let us know how it goes... Especially if I got it All Wrong!

Hi,

I would strongly suggest that you see a mental health professional, because your mental health problem can be very tightly connected with your anger issues. You need to get it out of the way first, or at least minimize it as much as possible, and then see what happens to your anger. Maybe it will diminish on its own.

This seems like the most common sense solution to the issues you describe. But make sure that you stick with the therapy for at least a couple of weeks - too many people quit before any real changes start happening.

Thank you for being so brave to share your problem with us, and Happy 2017 to you and your family!

Hi Clozza

Look up the Post "My Anger Then and Now" by Potatank. that is the Thread where Meds were discussed in detail, in particular the med called Risperidone. A truly inspirational Thread...