Anger Management

It is because outside of the house your anger will result in real world consequences. Outside your house it will cause you to get fired, lose social status, fail courses, get into a physical altercation, receive discipline in various forms, etc. etc.

Inside your house there are no real consequences. You don't have anything to lose with anger inside the home. Your parents will not divorce you, unfriend you, physically assault you, fire you, fail you, etc. This lack of actual consequences makes it easy for you to display such negative behavior.

Wow!

Richard is good at this. Yes, INHIBITIONS... such that People will WANT to get into Fights with EVERYBODY... except Big People and Cops.

BUT, there is hope for you..

Your INHABITION for Anger in the House could be just the sheer dread of knowing how Troubled and Anxious it makes you feel. Right? that is why you are writing in. Being Angry makes you feel terrible.

An Anger Episode, even with a Cat, will trouble one's Mind for hours. Who Needs That!? Well, I have 4 cats and sometimes they are quite naughty. so I have learned as a first reaction to everything -- JUST DON'T SAY IT! The Kitties aren't stupid and already know what you think from your initial Gasp. and so do your Parents.

So, in practical terms, you need to Condition yourself to ALWAYS PAUSE before speaking... if only for just 2 Seconds. You Need to Avoid "First Impulse" Responses. Then you need to learn how to use Time Consuming Filler Words and Introductions... the English are very good at this.... read more 19th Century English Literature to get the hang of it. The More Time you spend in effectively saying Nothing, the better your odds are that by the time you get to actual Content, you will have calmed down a bit.

Of course, NEVER SWEAR. Swearing simply Opens the Gates to Hell... in your Mind of course... all the Evil Bats come Flying Out as soon as you start to use fowl language.

Decide upon a Role Model. Some Actor in Some Movie who is always calm and collected and NEVER makes any silly stupid 'scenes'. I know.... You are James Bond!... Double OO Seven! He was never Angry a Moment in his Life! Just a clever little comeback for everything, even when the consequences were Life or Death or the Fate of the Free World. Not only will adhering to this Calm Persona Cool you Out, but that new self image might come with some extra little benefits....like you will be Surfing on a virtual Tidal Wave pretty new Girl Friends who find your sardonic nonchalance simply adorable.

anyway, good luck.

Oh, how else may I be of assistance?

Thank you
I amstruggling with trying to condition myself into pausing. Everything escalates so quickly without any thought that before I know it I am angry and by then it is too late and I really struggle to stop

cc19x3 wrote:Thank you
I amstruggling with trying to condition myself into pausing. Everything escalates so quickly without any thought that before I know it I am angry and by then it is too late and I really struggle to stop

Dear CC,

Yes, it is very 'tricky' stopping an on-rushing Anger Episode. the Biggest Problem is that People don't Identify a Clear and Incontrovertible Signal that tells them o STOP and Pause. Because so much Adrenaline is involved with Anger, the Signal probably won't be any Particular Thought... the Signal Would Be a Body Signal -- some sign of Impending Stress. For me it is my Jaw Clenching. some people make Fists. Oh, there are some people who Only think in terms of Swear Words when they about to become Angry, which would make THAT a good sign to Stop and Pause.

But Just Pausing is not actually Enough. THEN you need to switch over to a Checklist of Stuff that you need to Do, Not Do, and Things to Watch For. After all, you just can't stand their dumb as an idiot... which would be better than getting Angry, but still one must work on always appearing Natural and At Ease.

Well but what its the cause of your anger ? what cause you to be anger ? .I start to say to you that anger its very dangerous and you must find a way to reduce it because its afect you a lot emotionaly and spiritualy and your body also.I also think that maybe anger its was induced from your parents and the fact that all time focus on you beying anger induce to your subconstient to be anger all time .You must find a way to avoid people speaking about your anger and saying you that you are an anger person ,you must visualize yourself that you are a calm person ,Try also meditation to help you to relax your body and mind also .And try to find the cause of your anger