Success Stories

Hi everyone!

(sorry if my English in this post isn't flawless, it's not my main language)

Last year, daily pot smoking was becoming unbearable. My memory and mood were getting seriously affected, and paranoia was my constant companion.

I quit smoking pot on mid August of 2011. On September, an unwelcome full blown depression started. Spontaneous crying spells were not uncommon. I was constantly extremely anxious. What scared me the most was that I couldn't think straight, my focus was nonexistent, I had to make an enormous effort to speech properly, to keep my attention on what was being said to me and basically felt like a retarded. In social settings I acted in a really awkward way, I knew it and couldn't help it. I couldn't sleep properly and woke up in the middle of the night with my heart pounding and in a big anxiety attack. I felt no pleasure for any activity, no motivation, no hope whatsoever and my libido was below zero.

Since I was in this situation for a long time, I was starting to believe that I had made some kind of permanent damage to my brain. I thought of suicide daily and was starting to plan it.

I'm studying psychology, and because the negative symptoms of schizophrenia are similar to those of major depression, I was really afraid that I had become schizophrenic. To spice things up, I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me an antidepressant (wellbutrin) that made my anxiety even worse but helped somewhat with my focus and motivation. But it had an awful side effect: I started hearing music in my head all the time, 24/7. It wasn't quite an hallucination, the music didn't came from anywhere, I knew it was in my head but it kept repeating and scaring the sh*t out of me. In the beginning I didn't associated it with the medication and thought it was a positive symptom of schizophrenia, but then I started searching the web I found other people that had the same 'music in the head all the time' effect from wellbutrin and it stopped after they stopped the medication.

I started therapy with an experienced psychologist and he was absolutely sure that I wasn't a schizophrenic. It was a relief. I stopped the medication and the f*cking strange music in my head went away.

What REALLY helped me was reading this forum. I can't thank you enough for all the shared experiences. So, I'm giving back my experience to this forum. It took about 8 months for some people to fully recover. So, I started a reversed calendar, with how many days are left until the 8 month mark. I also started taking an Omega-3 supplement (which I still take everyday) since it helped many people.

I only started seeing a notable improvement in the 5 months mark after I quit smoking pot. My motivation, intelligence and social skills were getting back, my paranoia, anxiety and crying spells were going away. I was becoming my old/normal self again.

When I hit the 8 month mark, I was (and am) fully 100% recovered.

I'd like to say to anyone experiencing the nightmare that I had gone through to hold tight, things will REALLY get better, and you will get out of that hole stronger than before.

And as Winston Churchill (who also suffered from episodes of depression) said: "If your going through hell, keep going."


Also, consider taking the Omega-3 supplement, it will eventually help the repair process of your neurochemistry.

I don't wish to demonize weed. I respect the plant and it's history as a tool for searching through consciousness and it's medicinal and plain recreational value - but misused and abused, the results can be catastrophic.

Wishing you all the best!

Overcome

bvl wrote:Hello everybody,

It's been a while since I last posted, so probably most new comers don't know the issues I had to face while withdrawing from marijuana.

I quit smoking 3 years and 11 months ago and experienced severe withdrawal symptoms which lasted for aproximately two years. But that's not the end of the story. I still had to undo some damage I made to my thinking pattern and currently I am working on improving myself and will probably do this for the rest of my life.

3 years ago I was a complete mess. I was permanently thinking I had ruined my life for good and that I'll never get better and the best thing I could do is to commit suicide or go and hide somewhere where there isn't any human being on a radius of 50 kilometers, for the rest of my life....
I had no hope left and desperation had filled my entire being.

I guess I owe it alot to uncommonforum, to the support I got from my suffering parteners (here I mention Netty - I hope you're doing great!) and to the reason that I had people to whom I shared my story and they non-judgmentally understood. This, few friends of mine, beautiful girls and my stubbornnes helped me fight this tremendous battle and overcome what I consider it to be the biggest test of my life.

So, where am I now?
Things got ALOT better, both on the inside and on the outside. I really am a different person. A normal person with good days and bad days, a person that doesn't take life for granted anymore. I became a responsible adult and though i'm only 26 years old, in 4 months I am going to become a father and start my own familly. Yes, of course I still have some bothering thoughts, some concerns about the future... but now I understand this is a normal part of our human experience and it doesn't scare me anymore.

I feel focused on my tasks, I feel motivated to find solutions to any problems or challenges I experience on my path, I am more sociable, started speaking in public and doing things I never thought I could do. And starting my own family was one of them.

I can't say for sure that the nervousness I often experience is PAWS related ( I remember being like this before I even started smoking weed) but this is one of the issues I am currently working on improving and I know it is just a matter of time until i'll change it into something more productive. (hey, we all have flaws after all...)

Another thing that I have to change and repair on the inside, is the lack of smiling. I forgot how to smile from the bottom of my heart. I know PAWS was a very intense experience and probably left me a bit shocked, so I usually look as if I am going to kill someone ( I just look that way..... well... sometimes I could punch somebody at least ).

Becoming better is a lifelong struggle and learning, which none of us can avoid, but overall.... I am proud to say I overcame addiction and PAWS.

For all those still fighting this battle I wish you best of luck and stay strong! Read as much as you can about personal development and never give up on the things you desire to accomplish.

9 Months Weed and Alcohol Free

Well the 26th has passed again and I've reached 9 months clean of weed and the changes in the last 1.5 months have been massive. The depression and crippling anxiety that plagued me 24/7 from 1.5 to 6 months, and the morning anxiety from 6 - 7.5 months is completely gone , it's like someone removed a plastic bag from my head and I can finally breathe freely again. All I can say is that for any heavy long term smokers struggling in the first few months with doubts about whether they will ever be normal again is to stick with it, it does get better with a lot of time, things turned around for me at 7.5 to 8 months. It was without doubt the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Quitting weed is a process, it's something that happens gradually over time, by the time you get the feedback, all the hard work is all ready done.
A bit of advice for those in the process of quitting, there's no point in continually looking back and beating yourself up for the past mistakes or wasted years, look back once learn from the mistake and start moving forward. It's like looking at your child learning to run where they are being chased and keep looking behind them whilst running forward and eventually fall and hurt themselves. This is the same for all life, while trying to move forward you can't keep looking at the past or you'll end up hurting yourself.

I spent many years as a stoner trying to spend my life in the comfort zone, not trying to improve anything, just trying to remain in the status quo, but as life is constantly changing and if you're not moving forward then in reality your being dragged backward by the river of life. Make the correct choices every day and edge your way up the river of life little by little, when you make the right choice, you won’t see the results. At least, not today. That's a hard concept to grasp for a stoner who's used to instant gratification. If I smoke this I'll feel better about myself and my life, no you have to work for those feelings. You might feel better for an hour or so, but your problems will still be there when the haze lifts whether that be in an hour, a day, or 20 years from now, all the while the problems compounding as each day passes by.

I've noting against weed, it has many great medical and recreational uses, but people have to realise that you can't use medical marijuana(high thc %) recreationally which is what most people are doing nowadays. The fact that heroin addicts can withdraw by using medical marijuana should be a warning sign, this stuff is not the same weed that was being smoked 25 years ago.

TLDR: I've gone 9 months clean and have come back from the hell of the first 6 or 7 months, around 8 months I started feeling normal again losing all depression and anxiety. The brain is functioning much quicker and the brain fog seems to be coming less frequent. My motivation is starting to kick back in, although still a little lazy, and the happiness doing things I used to enjoy doing is back. Overall I'm feeling very good. For all those struggling, I know what hell you're going through but stick with it and you'll be glad once you're out the other side.

Good Luck and Stay Strong

y netty28661 » Wed Dec 31, 2014 11:15 am
Hi john, I've just been reading some of your posts & the fact you're still having a rough time! My experience was identical in that yes the first 8 wks were hell, then I started feeling better, I started to exercise, eat well & take supplements, I would say I felt pretty good for next 8 wks apart from sleep issues (lack of!), I think it was because I still felt positive. But then at the 4 month mark I went seriously downhill with severe depression, anxiety & stress, not helped by the fact I was only getting about 3 hours of bad sleep! I was convinced I had something wrong with me I got alsorts aches & pains, nearly bought a new bed. It seemed there would be something new in the way of symptoms every week or few wks. I was signed off work with depression/stress. I carried on exercising as much as I could. You start to think that after so long it cant be related to giving up weed or related to PAWS. I obsessed about it for months.

I would say I turned a corner at 8 months clean & started to realise I'd felt ok for short periods of time, these then became longer. I bought a book called "I Want To Change My Life - A Guide to Addiction, Stress & Depression" by Steven M Melemis. It's excellent & I would definately recommend it, one thing he explains is that PAWS can last upto 2 years, whilst initially that was a shock, I did at least know what I was feeling was normal.

A big thing that helped me & still does is meditation, I started at around the 9 month mark, the book explains how to do this & how it should feel, I went to a Buddhist temple for meditation classes which helped.

All in all it did take 2 years but believe me in that second year I felt much much better, you do carry on getting better but will still possibly have short periods of depression/anxiety/stress, it gets so much easier because you know it will pass.

I'm 3 months short of being 3 years clean & honestly life has never been better, I feel ever gratefull for the life I have & I'm genuinely happy - I didnt think I ever would feel like this, I'm alive. You will be too but you must give it time & have patience (alot of it!)

All the best & a happy new year.

ItsanewdayTHC - Free and Healing for One Year, Nine Months, Twenty seven days, 14 Hours and 33 Minutes (665 days), while extending my life expectancy 6 Days and 22 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1997 THC delivery devices that would have cost me $10,262.26.

ItsanewdayCiggs - Free and Healing for One Year, Seven Months, Nine Days, 12 Hours and 29 Minutes (587 days), while extending my life expectancy 48 Days and 21 Hours, by avoiding the use of 14076 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $14,421.30.

Blows me away when I see those figures and seems like a lifetime ago when I was counting the hours and I have saved my self almost $25,000 - that is awesome too. Might be time to buy myself some toys I think !!

26 Weeks 5 days

I am not a dude that has just quit smoking anymore. I am just a non smoker. I don´t smoke.

I stopped by a good old friend on Friday. A woman I use to think had a very clean, nice, cool apartment.

She use to be a real character back in the day. She still is. She got ADHD, and some massive tattoos. My country have some of the most hardcore B.A.S.E jumping crews, and my friend was part of one. B.A.S.E jumping is jumping off buildings and mountains with parachute. She is part of my old smoking crew. I had not seen her in a long time.

Seeing her and her apartment with sober eyes was a sad thing. It was a beautiful day on Friday. Sunny. She was wearing her one-piece comfy inn-door sofa outfit. Entering her apartment I was greeted with a really nice long hug, and a tired skinny face. The air in her apartment was really stuffed and smelled of old weed. This was before 12 pm, and all the blinds was closed, making it even more stuffed. I was invited in on a cafe latte, and to her surprise I turned down the ganja she passed to me.

After 20 minutes in her smoke filled "bat-cave", all I wanted was open her curtains, and open the door to her deck to let some fresh air and daylight inn. But I knew I could not do it, because of her paranoid head. I just wanted to force her to pull out her vacuum cleaner.. Where I 7 - 8 months ago was seeing a minimalist super-cool apartment, I now saw a sad, dusty, smelly, stuffed, stoner-cave.

The place and the woman had not changed during those months, I was the one who had changed.

After 30 minutes I was claustrophobic in there, so I started nagging her if we could go out to the park nearby and hang out. It was sunny and some people there. Or maybe we could take the city bikes and cruise around for a while, stop on some of the cafes to people watch over lunch? Or go take an Ashtanga yoga class?
But I knew the answer already. Her plan was to sit in her cave with the one-piece on the whole weekend while smoking and smoking and smoking.. I can´t hang out like that anymore. Maybe a few hours watching a movie at night.

15 years ago the same woman was happy sitting with her legs off a 1000 meter cliff in Trollveggen, smoking a few spliffs, before jumping off it. Now walking 2 minutes away from her apartment to a park was too scary for her.

Well anyways. I am still doing the same. My head feels pretty normal. I felt the last pieces of the puzzle fell into place when I read the book "The Mood Cure" by Julia Ross. You can see the book mentioned in Wave´s excellent thread here.

I was suspecting I was low on dopamine after all the weed and coffee for decades. I started taking some tyrosine, and eating a lot better, with more protein. It really made magic happen. A lot of my old motivation came back, and my brain fog lifted. My supplement stack at the moment is: Iron, multivitamin, fish-oil, magnesium, tyrosine and 5-HTP. On workout days I take protein powder, and not tyrosine. The protein powder is full of it.

The spring is closing inn full force, and I plan to enjoy it to the max. Lots of adventures planned. I have found a bike I will buy. So I plan to spend a lot of time in the forest on it, starting next week.

Well that´s about it for now..

I stuck my face out the window this morning and spring kissed me bang in my face.


Peace