Hi all.
Several years ago I found great comfort from a similar forum for health anxiety, simply having a platform which enables communication for me was very cathartic and helped immensely.
So I'm 43 in a few days, married with 2 children, my job stresses me no end, I generally come home home mentally exhausted and very grumpy. I luckily have no money worries and my physical health is ok. I've tried to analyse my feelings and reactions and asked myself always what I could of done to change the outcome but I always seem to draw a blank. I'm beginning to think that depression of some kind is causing the problems. I'm generally always tired and struggle to get out of bed in the morning.
The outcome in most cases results in me biting my families heads off for the least little thing, always trivia.....something which I shouldve let go of but couldn't!
A typical example would be today for instance, we were going to go out for lunch, I asked my lads to get ready but 30 minutes later they were still both led in bed, I shouted at them to get ready and still nothing, eventually one managed to drag himself out of bed but I heard my wife telling him to hurry up as I was " in a mood again" the reason I was in a mood was because of their lack of movement as we were in a rush. This then of course started an argument between my wife and myself because I thought it was unfair of her to tell my son I was in a mood again- I felt a lack of solidarity between us. This then sets me up to be angry and plain grumpy for the rest of the day.
This is an example of the rubbish that goes on but every time it does I feel with every outburst from me my wife is getting more and more distant.
I can feel the anger brewing but I'm powerless to stop it, any intervention by my wife in my eyes seems to make it worse because I'm unable to see her side- or is she simply preemptive of what my reaction wil be? In her eyes I'm always wrong, In my eyes I'm always right and get angry when she wont see my side!!
Im reluctant to see my GP as he has as a track record of simply prescribing happy pills which is a route I don't want to go down- any pearl of wisdom or advice/techniques would be very welcome as my anger is simply taking over my life currently.
Regards.
D