collard98x wrote:Look, I know that I shouldn't have blown up like that. It more easier to do so to a faceless stranger than in person.
Collard, I am glad that you are admitting that you made a mistake.
But the fact that you are hidden behind your screen, doesn't mean that the people here are "just faceless strangers"
Come on, we are all human beings, with a life, with feelings, with heart for people like you. People who are feeling happy when they are trying to help another who are in some big troubes, like you. People who spend half an hour to create such a reply, hoping, maybe praying that the answer will land in the heart, doing some good there.
Yes, people who knows how hard life can be, and knows there is a way out of deep sh#t. These people you are calling "faceless strangers".
The only one here who is a faceless stranger ........ is you.
Realising that, you really, REALLY hurt people here when you was blowing up in a drunk state of mind, I truly hope you realize that.
Oh Collard, you have a huge long way to go. Do you know why?
The least (smallest) thing you could do here is just say you are sorry for the hard, damaging and very disrespectful words you wrote down here.
You could just humbling yourself a bit. But no.
What I see is that you try to keep your face high and proud, just search for another escape.
Plus its was 2 am here, I was a little more than drunk (which just seems to heighten my anger issues), and you can't delete posts here.
Well, at least you are honest now.
But of course that's no excuse to attack somebody like you did isnt' it?
I think I've gotten enough help here.
I'm trying to see a anger management councilor that a friend has recommended. I've had several good discussions here. Since I can't delete my account, just leave this thread dead.
Well some people are listening to you and try to give you some advice. But actually you won't to be honest here right?
I asked you a couple of questions. You are just ignoring them.
I know why you want to delete your account.
You feel lot of shame about what you are sharing here. But every word you speak or write down, you put in "the big system of life". Every word will have its effect, the good or the bad. There is much power in words you know?
The only way to make them ineffective is to humble yourself.
The key in here is forgiveness. If you don't admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness, your mistake won't be forgiven. And if you are not forgiven, you have build a bit further on the prison you are living in.
As a Christian, the word "forgiveness" must say something to you I guess?
As well as "confessing your sins". Right?
So you may want this topic dead, the words you spoke won't die. You are just escaping from taking your responsibility.
I wish you all the best Collard.
And if you are drunk the next time, you better think about your Christian values, in stead of writing things you will feel sorry about later.
And the last thing I would advice you:
Stop watching porn. The more porn you watch, the more anger you will develop.
That will be the hardest thing to grow out for you.
