Gitana wrote:Haha thanks for this Leo
I ll remember the 5 stages, never really internalized those, but i like the concept.
In my case though, it is just a recurrent behavior i ve observed in certain persons - they cant seem to acknowledge any wrong doing, be it sooner of later. And the funny part is that they praise me for always doing so (that is recognizing very quickly my mistakes and taking any blame i deserve in order to improve, learn and keep on going. i have no pride whatsoever, and i m not ashamed of that). I have no business trying to appear right at all cost, especially in a situation where i am NOT right. So why cant these specific people act like that too is beyond my comprehension - thus my posting here.
Partner has recently started to slow down our business by slacking on their duties, and it cant be fixed because they deny it even in front of evidences - that bad faith is frustrating because it creates a road-block, and from that, it is not easy to see the future from an optimistic angle. I dont want to give up without trying everything first. Progress has been made today so it s not all downhill
Maybe i m just stupid, blind, stubborn, coward, i dont know. I just want to cut the BS, fix the situation if possible, move on and avoid time-consuming drama.
And i dont think at all that i m any blood thirsty, i could not care less about revenge in life, really, i have better ways to enjoy existence
Hi Gtana,
Oh, okay. I think I see better now where you are coming from, and, yes, you have won my sympathies.
Yes, there are people out there with deeply ingrained Psychological Dysfunctions who are practically delusional about their own Self Image. Mostly Narcissists and Paranoids. And they not only can't admit to blame but they don't even perceive that anything is ever their fault. At that level I believe their minds are not operating with any true cognitive resonance. They seem to be thinking 'around' the true reality and so it appears as though they are always deflecting responsibility onto others. Even on a lie detector it would seem that everyone is against them.
Now, about Lazy Business Partners... well, if you started a support group for that... I have friends who are in business and this seems to be a common problem. I do not believe that Any Partnership is created Equal. One Partner is always carrying more weight. Now, yes, you would expect to see some gratitude. Reflecting on my own perception of the Business Partners I know about, it would appear Obvious that one Partner is doing the Lion's Share. But the Other Partners seem to think that they are Doing Something subtle and mysterious which somehow equals their partner's obvious and apparent contribution. It is like that with Figure-Head Silent Partners whose job is simply to Attract business. Good Schmoozers are often good for business while still being lazy as stumps.
But when you roll out the Spread Sheet in front of them and all the trend lines are going South, and you remind them that it was never downhill before until after they they started taking Wednesday afternoons off for Golf, and three times a week go off for 3 hour Martini Lunches, and taking two hours to pick up the mail after those phone calls from some mysterious woman, etc, etc etc. Yes, some partners are just goof offs.
Sometimes you have pull the contract out you filing cabinet and see if you remember right about what it said about buy out options. Hmmmmm. Oh! That might be what is going on. If you have a Partnership Contract that is too generous in regards to Buy Out, then your Partner may actually be Slowing Way Down in order to Push You into a Buy Out. Your Partner may see it as an opportunity to make some good 'Windfall' money. they see their Partnership Status as an asset that they Can Sell. They stand to make More Money being Bought Out than by busting their donkey and 'working hard for the money' as Donna Summers used to sing.
If that is the case, I guess you are screwed. It makes me wonder whose Lawyer drew up the Partnership Contract, yours or his?
If there is no Contract, well then you should discuss Selling Out and splitting the assets. If your Partner strikes terms that don't leave you too screwed over, than take it and move on. Next time see if you can go it alone. Or get a good 9 to 5 Job as a Manager somewhere where you don't have to worry about all that kind of back stabbing stuff anymore.