Family problem help

Two options:

-1- leave the 5 year relationship.

-2- invest in the 5 year relationship.

Probably -1- is your best and easiest option. Using -1- allows you to exit the situation and no longer be around a married woman. It allows your girlfriend to find a man willing to commit to her and only her. It allows your girlfriend to find a man that will not have or entertain discussions or feelings for another woman.

Note, I’m not placing any blame here. Maybe your girlfriend of 5 years is nothing special. Maybe things have changed. Maybe she is a nag or a horrible person. It takes two to make a relationship work. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

What is not a maybe is that your 5 year relationship is busted in one form or another for some reason.

-2- The second option is to take all that energy and time you have been spending having secret conversations with this other woman and invest it in your girlfriend of 5 years. Instead of taking cold showers while imagining your sister in law, take a hot shower with your girlfriend and figure out how to repair or otherwise grow the relationship.

The second option is the harder option to navigate. It requires tending the same garden you’ve been planting for 5 years. It means planting some new flowers and focusing on your little plot of land. Right now your just tired of the same garden so your flirting with your neighbors garden.

The bottom line, your 5 year relationship is busted. You might be giving it the basics. You might be pulling the weeds, but your not actively growing the garden you planted. You’ve become lazy and your girlfriend probably has become lazy too.

One more piece of advice.

At some point you will have another discussion with this sister in law. When this happens, instead of talking about how good you look in a certain pair of jeans, tell her to go tend her own garden and that you plan to do the same.

Now...she might explain all the reasons that it is her husbands fault that her garden is overgrown with weeds, but it is just excuses. Same as you stopped tending and growing your garden, she has stopped focusing on her garden.

What are you thinking? You cant date the sister in law. Its plain wrong. She is wrong too. Do not do this or you will hurt other people and create scars that can't be healed. Think of yourgf, her brother, their kids, their entire family. An ex boyfriends friend hit on me once. I walked away. I advise you do the same. You will hurt others.

You might be giving it the basics. You might be pulling the weeds, but your not actively growing the garden you planted. You’ve become lazy and your girlfriend probably has become lazy too.

I agree with Richard. Look, the grass isnt always greener on the other side either. I mean you may like your sister in law but she hasnt had to play the role your wife has, yet. You havent had to argue with your sis in law about bills or go through the daily ins and outs with her. Shes exciting to you right now, she hasnt had to play mother to you, she hasnt asked you to do husband duties, you guys havent slept together for 5 years so...she just seemes exciting and problem-free... I think you need to somehow bring that excitement back into your marriage, you know with the lady who has cooked for you or taken care of you when you were sick, who washes your underwear and has seen you at your worst and best. Finding true good people who truly love you is hard, and its not something to throw away due to boredom or if you see someone slightly hotter. There will always be bigger and better superficially....I think the sis in law needs to stay away and back off, she isnt blood and is being toxic to your family. Her problems with her husband shouldnt have her setting eyes on you and your jeans, because eventually, you may not look so hot in them. Plus, how can you trust her not to be bored of you one day for someone else? What about your wife, makes you look elsewhere?