7 months of weed PAWS

**Posts:** 88 · by **john5:6** » Thu Jul 01, 2021 12:28 am

7 months of hell

It’s been a while since I last shared my PAWS progress. It has been hell. Just a quick summary of some of the stuff I’ve been through:

- Quit cold turkey on Nov 20, 2020 after using extreme doses of vape carts and having a extreme panic attack which I never experienced before.

- 1st month: Mild withdrawal symptoms for the first 2-3 weeks. On the 4th week started feeling sick, poisoned, extreme pain in all my body, chest pain with palpitations, nausea, body twitches, weakness and chronic fatigue.

- Month 2: Symptoms got even worse, with constant 24/7 panic attacks, extreme stomach and back pain, extreme head splitting migraines. I felt I was dying and the pain was unbearable. I ended up in the hospital with tons of tests done with nothing wrong showing up. I was treated as a “mental patient” and got ignored when I was crying out in the constant pain and panic attacks. I had some episodes of amnesia were I would forget where I was and was extremely confused, I could not even think. In the hospital I saw demons and indescribable nightmarish stuff that told me how to commit suicide. I had an experience with God the day before being sent home and never had any more suicidal thoughts till this day. I could not sleep at all jolted back awake with panic and feeling sick like I was dying from a terminal disease.

- Month 3: Follow up with cardiologist, nothing showed up, only a good working healthy heart. The pains continued, I had lost 18 pounds by this point, had lots of gastric issues including yellow chalky poop which made my anxiety worse that I had a pancreas problem. Had CT and imaging, and all tests showed a normal pancreas and abdominal organs. The anxiety and pain got so severe I could not sleep at all for 3 or 4 weeks. Every time I tried to sleep I got jerked back awake with a jolt gasping for air. I got so sleep deprived that I had seizures when trying to fall asleep. My body was beginning to shut down and had to go to the ER again. A doctor there understood what I was going through and put me on Ativan IV 2mg which sent me to sleep for almost 24hrs and it stopped the seizures.

- Month 4: Body pains continued but slowly decreasing. I had to take Ativan to help with the panic and pain a couple of times with extreme caution no more than 3 days in small doses. By this point I lost another 5 pounds and my hair started falling out. During this month I had a week were everything abruptly stopped and I thought it was all over, but it was short lived. I can officially call this month the start of the “waves” phase. My whole body became inflamed and I had lots of lymph nodes become enlarged and tender.

- Month 5: Everything started becoming a bit more tolerable. Still having body pain, chest pain, and a whole body malaise like if I was very sick. Nothing showing up in tests on Dr visits. The palpitations reversed and became bradycardia (slow heart beat). I became very weak and easily fatigued. Even a walk to the kitchen had me dizzy and gasping for air. I was still very disassociated from reality, everything looked like if I was not sure whenever life was real or not. I was very easily freaked out by just existing. My memory was still sh**, almost non-existent.

- Month 6: I had a huge break during this month. Most of the worse symptoms had subsided, and I felt pretty normal for a couple of weeks. My memory and thinking started improving ever so slightly. Gastric issues come and go. Lymph nodes went down in size and inflammation too. Waves started coming back stronger.

- Month 7: Waves are coming stronger each time. Memory has improved a bit more, I can feel more connected to reality and panic attacks now come and go. Flu like symptoms again. I started feeling weak again and with chronic fatigue. If I skip a meal, I feel even worse. I stopped losing weight since month 6 and everything is more stable. The fatigue is worrisome. I feel like passing out sometimes by just getting up from bed to the kitchen. Heart beating fast and dizzy like if I had low blood sugar or a vitamin deficiency. Went to get some blood work and all came back normal again. Hope this phase ends soon, it feels like dying from cancer.

I may have missed a lot, but my PAWS experience has been one of the more extreme ones. But I’m still giving it my all, and not thinking much about the time, which could lead me to false hopes.

Cheers!

**Posts:** 44 · by **PowerOfMyMind** » Sat Jul 03, 2021 6:21 pm

Congratulations on 7 months. Thats really something to be proud of. Well done. I am currently at 11 months and started going into a bad wave Friday. Today being Saturday ive been a mess in deep depression. I am married, have a toddler and still working throughout all of this and its been the hardest time of my life without a doubt. I take Effexor 225mg too which use to really keep me well but since paws it doesn't seem to be working which is really worrying. We just have to keep believing we will get better and ride this out. Like you im giving it my all and trying not to let the negative thoughts and feelings take over. We will heal and get well again, we must. Keep fighting and keep getting back up John.

**Posts:** 88 · by **john5:6** » Sat Jul 03, 2021 11:35 pm

PowerOfMyMind wrote:Congratulations on 7 months. Thats really something to be proud of. Well done. I am currently at 11 months and started going into a bad wave Friday. Today being Saturday ive been a mess in deep depression. I am married, have a toddler and still working throughout all of this and its been the hardest time of my life without a doubt. I take Effexor 225mg too which use to really keep me well but since paws it doesn't seem to be working which is really worrying. We just have to keep believing we will get better and ride this out. Like you im giving it my all and trying not to let the negative thoughts and feelings take over. We will heal and get well again, we must. Keep fighting and keep getting back up John.

Thanks man! I’ve been taking this face on without anti depressants. Maybe thats why it has been so extreme in my case. I’ve taken an occasional Ativan when panic is unbearable, but nothing long term. I’m 32, married, with a 2 year old toddler and another baby on the way. This last couple of weeks for me have been like going back to the first couple of months. I’ve been feeling super weak and fatigued along with flu like symptoms. Tons of chest pain and tightness with palpitations with body twitching everywhere. Had a routine visit to the doctor this week with all blood work coming back excellent. I only had a slightly elevated B12 level that is mostly due to the supplements I’m using.

Just hope we keep getting better!

**Posts:** 88 · by **john5:6** » Sun Jul 18, 2021 1:48 am

This 7th month has been a very difficult one. There have been significant memory and thinking improvements. But lots of physical symptoms have been back with a vengeance. I’ve felt at times I’m back at month 1. This month has bought lots of heart anxiety. Sometimes I’m having a bradycardia resting rate (40-50 bpm), then it goes back up for some days. My BP has been up and down. I’m randomly having episodes where I feel a rapid fluttering in the center of my chest that instantly trigger a panic attack. I’m guessing these are palpitations. As I mentioned before, my cardiologist has seen me multiple times and all tests point to a healthy heart. But even knowing that, it still scares me each time I get those irregular beats.

Panic attacks have been another strong issue this month. I had a panic attack so strong I thought I was having a stroke. Combined with pins and needles feelings on my arms and legs, I was convinced I was having a stroke. But I wasn’t. I took a low dose (0.25mg) of Ativan for a week because I was ending up in the ER every weekend. It calmed things down, and helped me sleep a bit better.

Sleep disturbances are still bothering me greatly. Still Getting up each night startled with palpitations after falling asleep. Lots of really strong headaches and head pressure. Random brain zaps came back. Also some electric tingles in my scalp.

Good news is the dp/dr has greatly faded away this month!! I’m more connected to reality each day. The tunnel vision has gone away too. My thoughts are more organized, and my memory has started improving after 7 months of zero improvements. I’m slowly starting to feel like my former self again =). I’m still getting bouts of depression. During these depression periods my appetite goes away, and I’m hurting a lot. But these have been short lived.

The extreme fatigue has faded away. I’m no longer feeling like I’m going to faint by just walking out of bed. I’m getting closer to full recovery!

**Posts:** 75 · by **Brokethehabit** » Sun Jul 18, 2021 10:36 am

@john
Maaan, coming off weed has f***ed you up badly. I can identify with much of what you have gone through, it wasn't so bad on me though. Still, the flight you've been putting up is admirable.
It evened out at month 11 for me. Now I'm at #22 and luckily things have been largely uneventful pawswise.
May the force be with you, you'll get through this crap soon!

**Posts:** 59 · by **MMJnomo** » Sun Jul 18, 2021 9:12 pm

John- your first sentence in this thread, “7 months of hell” is so damn true. Four words that are just full of so much truth. For me, tomorrow is 6 months of hell, with some good days and weeks sprinkled in. I am much better now than I was at the start of this, but man it has been so rough at times. Thank you for sharing your experience- it helped me and I’m sure it will help so many others who stumble upon this forum like I did.

**Posts:** 88 · by **john5:6** » Sun Jul 18, 2021 11:37 pm

@Brokethehabit

It seems my case is more extreme than most people here. But then again, my vape concentrate abuse was extreme too. Before quitting cold turkey I remember vaping two 87% THC cartridges in less than a week. I kept upping my dose because vaping didn’t make me feel high anymore. I eventually realized that I was already high all the time, and my body just didn’t react to any extra THC. I never thought I could fall so deep into something like this. I’m sure I was just trying to numb out the pain from a close friend’s death. This guy was my mentor. He helped me become the engineer I’m today when nobody believed in me. Then it was a Sunday afternoon, November 15, 2020 and I got a call that he died from a brain aneurism. When I got my first full blown panic attack that next week, I was sure I was gonna die too. But yeah, here I am still fighting this thing 8 months later. Sometimes I’m close to giving up, but I hold on to my faith that I’m healing. I thank you for sharing those posts some months ago about your PAWS experience. They sure calmed me down a lot!

@MMJnomo

There are times that PAWS hits me so hard, that even that title seems like an understatement. I remember someone’s post here some months ago that had an even better description. He said:

“Welcome to the battle with the beast, the journey to the underworld, being stuck in the belly of the whale or defeating the dragon once and for all. You are right in the thick of battle right now and the decision you make now are the most vital which will lead to your victory.”

We have to keep pushing on! We will beat this!!

**Posts:** 1 · by **JosephineLaur** » Mon Jul 19, 2021 8:32 pm

Everyone can face difficulties.

**Posts:** 88 · by **john5:6** » Mon Jul 19, 2021 9:33 pm

JosephineLaur wrote:Everyone can face difficulties.

Such is life

**Posts:** 12 · by **CynicalTendency** » Sat Feb 12, 2022 3:20 am

How are you doing now?

Your post sounds a lot like my experience. I quit September 14, 2021 after getting high for 20 years. I’m 35. Just a couple of months in I got appendicitis and then a few weeks later, shingles. I had nausea and stomach pains daily for 4 months.

I actually didn’t get any panic attacks, but I got them many years before and I continued smoking, and eventually they went away after I realized they weren’t gonna kill me.

Like you, the biggest issue I’ve been dealing with is the constant anhedonia and lethargy. I have lost all will to do anything. It’s Friday and I’ve been laying down for 5 hours after work doing absolutely nothing. I did notice that when I exercise, I feel a lot better, but sometimes just finding the will to put on shorts and a t-shirt is too much.

On days like this when I’m subtly depressed and less enthusiastic about my recovery, I start to wonder if I’d just be better off using again. On Reddit it seems like most people have no issues after a few months and go on to be astronauts. I’m glad I found this place that shows the longer/more tedious side of withdrawal. Because, honestly, if this isn’t withdrawal and I don’t feel better by 1 year, I think I will go back. I used to make a ton of music and work on random projects in the past, but now I don’t want to do anything. My work at my job has gotten better, though, as has my memory. I just wish I could put it to use and actually advance in life, however.

I’m hopeful that things will improve. I started smoking because I honestly wasn’t happy… so I hope that I don’t become the reason I started in the first place.

**Posts:** 298 · by **biohack9** » Sun Feb 13, 2022 9:31 pm

CynicalTendency wrote:How are you doing now?

Your post sounds a lot like my experience. I quit September 14, 2021 after getting high for 20 years. I’m 35. Just a couple of months in I got appendicitis and then a few weeks later, shingles. I had nausea and stomach pains daily for 4 months.

I actually didn’t get any panic attacks, but I got them many years before and I continued smoking, and eventually they went away after I realized they weren’t gonna kill me.

Like you, the biggest issue I’ve been dealing with is the constant anhedonia and lethargy. I have lost all will to do anything. It’s Friday and I’ve been laying down for 5 hours after work doing absolutely nothing. I did notice that when I exercise, I feel a lot better, but sometimes just finding the will to put on shorts and a t-shirt is too much.

On days like this when I’m subtly depressed and less enthusiastic about my recovery, I start to wonder if I’d just be better off using again. On Reddit it seems like most people have no issues after a few months and go on to be astronauts. I’m glad I found this place that shows the longer/more tedious side of withdrawal. Because, honestly, if this isn’t withdrawal and I don’t feel better by 1 year, I think I will go back. I used to make a ton of music and work on random projects in the past, but now I don’t want to do anything. My work at my job has gotten better, though, as has my memory. I just wish I could put it to use and actually advance in life, however.

I’m hopeful that things will improve. I started smoking because I honestly wasn’t happy… so I hope that I don’t become the reason I started in the first place.

Hey man I think we have very similar experiences... i'm now 5.5 months in and used to feel a million times better when I was vaping extracts. I used to be super active and an avid bodybuilder, lean healthy and happy, slept well (except for night sweats). Now i'm constantly tired, depressed, barely make it to the gym because of lack of motivation and strength loss and it gives me insomnia. My sleep is horrible, constantly vivid dreaming, and my heart rate is amped up (used to be like an olympic athlete sub 50). I've gain 20-25lbs and when this happened last time and I resumed weed I dropped it nearly instantly. I figured I would be getting better as I come close to 6 months but at this point I feel like it was doing me a hell of a lot more good than bad and i'm seriously thinking I will go back to it. I'll give it a few more months maybe but I can't see myself going for 2+ years like some say it takes to get better, and then they're not even 100%. There are a lot of positives to cannabis, i'm starting to realize this now as I suffer.

The only positives I can honestly say right now are no more night sweats (they took 2 months to go away), less eye bags, and my breathing feels better and less congested. That's it. Otherwise I feel like i've aged and have super sore achy muscles and joints and my cardio sucks. Life was 10000% better before being a pothead. It's not even close.

**Posts:** 12 · by **CynicalTendency** » Mon Feb 14, 2022 1:43 am

biohack9 wrote:
CynicalTendency wrote:How are you doing now?

Your post sounds a lot like my experience. I quit September 14, 2021 after getting high for 20 years. I’m 35. Just a couple of months in I got appendicitis and then a few weeks later, shingles. I had nausea and stomach pains daily for 4 months.

I actually didn’t get any panic attacks, but I got them many years before and I continued smoking, and eventually they went away after I realized they weren’t gonna kill me.

Like you, the biggest issue I’ve been dealing with is the constant anhedonia and lethargy. I have lost all will to do anything. It’s Friday and I’ve been laying down for 5 hours after work doing absolutely nothing. I did notice that when I exercise, I feel a lot better, but sometimes just finding the will to put on shorts and a t-shirt is too much.

On days like this when I’m subtly depressed and less enthusiastic about my recovery, I start to wonder if I’d just be better off using again. On Reddit it seems like most people have no issues after a few months and go on to be astronauts. I’m glad I found this place that shows the longer/more tedious side of withdrawal. Because, honestly, if this isn’t withdrawal and I don’t feel better by 1 year, I think I will go back. I used to make a ton of music and work on random projects in the past, but now I don’t want to do anything. My work at my job has gotten better, though, as has my memory. I just wish I could put it to use and actually advance in life, however.

I’m hopeful that things will improve. I started smoking because I honestly wasn’t happy… so I hope that I don’t become the reason I started in the first place.

Hey man I think we have very similar experiences... i'm now 5.5 months in and used to feel a million times better when I was vaping extracts. I used to be super active and an avid bodybuilder, lean healthy and happy, slept well (except for night sweats). Now i'm constantly tired, depressed, barely make it to the gym because of lack of motivation and strength loss and it gives me insomnia. My sleep is horrible, constantly vivid dreaming, and my heart rate is amped up (used to be like an olympic athlete sub 50). I've gain 20-25lbs and when this happened last time and I resumed weed I dropped it nearly instantly. I figured I would be getting better as I come close to 6 months but at this point I feel like it was doing me a hell of a lot more good than bad and i'm seriously thinking I will go back to it. I'll give it a few more months maybe but I can't see myself going for 2+ years like some say it takes to get better, and then they're not even 100%. There are a lot of positives to cannabis, i'm starting to realize this now as I suffer.

The only positives I can honestly say right now are no more night sweats (they took 2 months to go away), less eye bags, and my breathing feels better and less congested. That's it. Otherwise I feel like i've aged and have super sore achy muscles and joints and my cardio sucks. Life was 10000% better before being a pothead. It's not even close.

I hear you, I actually have been bodybuilding as well since I was 15. These two activities kind of went hand in hand. You can probably relate to how great it felt to blaze after a workout and then get the munchies and eat. Good times. Like you, I put on some weight after quitting. I thought I was gonna lose weight because of less munchies, but now I move less and eat more to soothe myself.

It’s funny because one of the reasons I quit was that I was tired during the day and felt out of it. Somehow, though, I still managed to work out. Now I’m more lethargic and even feel general malaise a lot of the time. Like you, I now suffer from insomnia and crazy vivid dreams when I do sleep. I jerk my arms and legs a lot and wake myself up.

As much as weed slowed me down, messed with my efficiency at work, etc., it was a huge boost in getting me motivated to do stuff. The memory loss was terrible, though. I remember reading and trying to remember stuff, and I would forget everything I read within minutes. I couldn’t retain sh**. It also made it really hard to focus on things I didn’t enjoy doing, but I could really focus on what I liked to do.

I’m with you on not waiting for two years. I’ve been at a stand still since I quit - nothing has really changed for the better. I also got sore joints, feel like an old man all the time, and find it hard to get moving. Took everything for me to take my trash out tonight. It’s crazy. Im “lazier” than I’ve ever been, but it’s not that I don’t want to do anything, I just don’t have the energy. I even have sex less with my girlfriend now.

Like yourself, I’m gonna give it a few more months and see how it goes. Life was so much more fun with weed, it feels like, although I feel more stable now. Stable, but not excited about anything and more so just dull and bored. I say I’ll give it a solid year, and see what I think. If it’s still the same old sh**, I’m going back (and try to not abuse it). Glad you replied and we can relate on so many aspects of this. Take care brother.

**Posts:** 298 · by **biohack9** » Mon Feb 14, 2022 6:25 pm

Yeah same, I eat my dopamine now and train way less as my tolerance to exercise is minimal these days and hasn't really improved much in the time since I quit 5.5 months ago. I actually never smoked, only vaped extracts, and loved to take some hits before my workout. It made me focus and workout like a beast! Now I feel a lot of pain in my joints and fatigue quick, strength is way down and heart rate is through the roof.

It never affected my memory, and doing things I didn't enjoy doing was a breeze with cannabis, like cleaning the house and chores etc. I was a very functional stoner and accomplished some incredible things, but I also had a pretty high tolerance.

I'm starting to think that I just have underlying issues that weed masked, and being sober is quite a strong feeling that I just do not enjoy. Going to keep going but not sure for how long, I feel so much unhealthier with it out of my life now physically and mentally. It was a great supplement to regulate the ECS which seems completely out of whack now in addition to the dopamine/serotonin receptors and autonomic nervous system.

I need to see some improvements soon, otherwise there just isn't any point in suffering anymore.

**Posts:** 12 · by **CynicalTendency** » Tue Feb 15, 2022 9:54 pm

I wasn’t “smoking” per say, I was vaping dry herb in my Arizer Air. I was not a fan of cartridges, they made me feel nauseous and anxious.

What I mean by doing stuff I dont like, I’m talking about complex, difficult tasks. Doing stuff like cleaning or mundane repetitive tasks was easier with weed. It got me in the zone.

Today I feel pretty good - and it’s a feeling I would like to persist. I’m not sure what you mean by eating your dopamine? Are you on SSRIs?

If you continue feeling like sh**, I recommend getting some blood work to see if you are lacking in certain vitamins, hormones, etc. it would be better to treat those things and feel good than to take something that would just mask it and come with additional negative side effects. After all, you must have quit for some reason, otherwise why would you want to quit?

**Posts:** 298 · by **biohack9** » Wed Feb 16, 2022 2:21 am

I wanted to quit because I haven't been without weed for more than 3.5 months in the past 15 years, so full sobriety is just something I wanted to try. I also had some side effects, like night sweats but that was likely due to overdoing it and never taking a break from morning until night. I have plenty of injuries, blood work isn't going to help there.

Never any SSRI's and never will... would rather just use natural cannabis. What I meant by eating my dopamine is that my appetite is voracious, although I do eat fairly healthy/clean.

I do have some trauma in my history in childhood, and cptsd, so insomnia has been a lifelong thing for me, as well as some other mental/emotional issues. Cannabis was likely just helping me live my best life possible, and also buffering many aches and pains that have come along the way with aging and a very active lifestyle. Still going to keep on pushing to see if there is anything better to come, but at this point I highly doubt it.

7 months of weed PAWS

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