In need for advice

**Posts:** 4 · by **Sbacry87** » Mon Jan 18, 2016 11:25 pm

Hi,

I am 28 and engaged. I graduated a little later in life when I was 25. I've had a few jobs since but not a true career job. I'm afraid I didn't major in something I was passionate about and am paying the price for it now. I tried to get jobs in my field, graphic design, but haven't had a lot of luck yet. I worked in the field for a about a year or so, so I have some experience. Unfortunately I quit my job because the environment in the office wasn't the best, and I needed to get a full time job, I couldn't keep doing part-time. I left for another opportunity that was not in my field but was full-time. And only did it for a couple months, then was told they liked me but that I might be a better fit for something else and we agreed to part ways. I've had a few other jobs that didn't end up working out after that. But was never fired. Now I find myself unemployed, thankfully my fiancé helps take care of me and has a good job, but I just feel like it's not fair to him. He says he doesn't mind but I just feel bad about it. I can't get a job and it's been 4 months now and it's taking my self-confidence away slowly. I know I'm not stupid, I speak two languages perfectly, have previous work experience, have graduated with a B.A, and I'm an honest, nice and positive person. I'm about to resort to being a waitress, which I'm not saying is bad thing. But not what I was hoping to do...I just feel like a failure and a disappointment, to myself and my loved ones... I live in a state where the pay is lower thsn others and i couldn't get my self to take a retail $8 or $9 job with crazy hours because my fiancé travels a lot for work and only has week ends available. I don't think $8/ hr is worth sacrificing my time with family for....but I would be willing to waitress and at least make a little more money. my pride is taking a hit, and maybe other people have bigger problems, but not only am I unemployed but I have a loan to pay off, and I feel lonely and a bit depressed with my fiancé being away for work a lot...unemployment has just been hard on me...and my moral. Also I'm originally from Europe even though I speak good english, and I am able to work here, I'm wondering if that had an impact on me not being able to find s job as easily.... when people ask me where I'm from at interviews and I tell them they seem to wonder what I'm doing here...
I've tried volunteering and joining sports to keep busy, but I still unfulfilled. I believe my calling might be with photography which I love and have been doing, but I can't seem to find a mentor or a group I can join to help me pursue it and make connections. I would love some imput and guidance.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Tue Jan 19, 2016 12:42 am

You are all over the map, from graphic design to waitress to photography. Employers most likely pick up on this in interviews and in your overall performance.

You are young, but you need to decide:

-1- Will you have a career or not? If you are thinking of family in a few years which could influence your plans.

-2- If you are going to pursue a career, then take some time, do some research and pick a path. Then commit to that path or in a few months you will end up unhappy and confused once again.

**Posts:** 4 · by **Sbacry87** » Tue Jan 19, 2016 1:20 am

Thank you Richard for the input. You are right they probably do pick up on that. I know I'm a bit all over the place, It seems I've struggled with finding my direction and sticking to a path. I'm thinking photography might be it. But I just feel like I need an extra job, which is why I was thinking of waitressing..to make some money and be more independent. I just feel limited in what i can do otherwise and also feel like it would get me out of the house to socialize and make me feel less down.. But it's not a path I want to follow... And I know the hours will be tough. Ideally I would like a career and a family. But would prefer the freedom of working on my own schedule. I appreciate you taking the time to answer, It is helpful to get other people's insight.

**Posts:** 1158 · by **TheCloud** » Thu Jan 21, 2016 6:19 am

Are you going to spend the rest of your live stressed out about fiances/husbands/families/friends/bosses/coworkers/loans/etc.? You're young and have much going well for you.

**Posts:** 11 · by **instilledconfidence** » Thu Jan 21, 2016 11:06 am

I understand wanting to spend time with your fiance as family is always important, however, at this point I think you need to gain some independence. It is wonderful that he helps you and I am sure you would do the same for him, but him helping you is not making you happy at all. It sounds to me like you are unsure of yourself at this point. Take a job, any job at this point to gain some confidence in your abilities right now. Being a waitress may not be your career goal, but it gets you in the working world, put some money in your pocket to contribute to bills, and you never know who you may meet that may be beneficial in your career later on.

You may have to give up time on the weekends with him, but in your ideal job, wouldn't you have to also? The more unhappy you become in your situation, the more stress and unneeded stress you will acquire. Start with a job, any job and work your way better.

**Posts:** 3 · by **selfimprove84** » Fri Jan 22, 2016 7:53 pm

I would suggest a book that has really helped me and people I know called "I'm Limping Very well, Thank You" by Dr. Nick Abraham. Search for this bookl

**Posts:** 263 · by **handheart** » Sat Feb 13, 2016 1:01 pm

Maybe you are orientated for business thats way you cannot have a job .Search for your passion and what you love to do and you will find your way

**Posts:** 10 · by **christina 14** » Sat Feb 13, 2016 7:53 pm

I would highly suggest you relax for a couple of days and give yourself permission to go within .
Think about what is your real passion and what is the job that would give you joy and enthusiasm on a daily basis.
imagine yourself doing that job and what emotions it would give you back as a reward :
this would be the answer.
Additionally you could buy 1-2 books on self-esteem so as to boost your confidence and feel stronger in pursuing your goals.
Above all think positive and everything will work out.

**Posts:** 84 · by **hubertkoh** » Tue Mar 01, 2016 2:26 am

It is better to find your path now, then to regret it in your older years. Take risks and take flight! Carpe diem.

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