momo7 wrote:Dear Leo,
Do you have any particular books in mind?
On the subject of lucidity, i could argue that my consciousness is not able to supersede my subconscious, instinctive behaviour, frequently.
Dear Momo,
My but you are paying attention… and thinking well ahead of me. When I spoke of it appearing as though some people are going about the World as though they are Effectively Unconscious, that is, like sophisticated automatons or lifelike Zombies, well, I was referring entirely in the direction of your mother. I don’t think I even spent a second contemplating whether the description applied to you. But now that you mention it…. If some Disembodied Floating Point of Objective Perception was following you around and recording and evaluating you entirely on your Behavior, without knowing what you are actually thinking underneath it all, well, perhaps that Point of Perception would regard you as just One More of Them – The Walking Dead, just another example of the Unreflective Automaton. Of course, from what you have written, We Know that you are far more than that. Indeed, you seem to have Extraordinary Cognitive and Reflective Skills. You are just not in the habit of applying them. You are a mature adult in the Behavioral Body of a Child.
Oh, it just occurred to me, that Mothers seem to trigger this in a lot of people. People who behave maturely and as adults in all other areas of their life – on the Job and in Society, well, let them go Home for the Holidays, and it is as though they Step out of a Time Machine – they start screaming at their Parents and Siblings as though not a minute has passed since they were 16 years old. They say you never forget how to Ride a Bicycle… well, perhaps relating to your family is like Riding a Bicycle – you jump straight back into that Learned and Habitual Behavior. As an example from another area, let me tell you that I am an amateur musician… I play a number of instruments by ear and have been doing so for 40 years now (I started after I graduated College and had time for a Hobby) Anyway, my WORSE songs are the ones I learned how to play in the first few years of my playing. I have to go back and Rehabilitate those Songs and incorporate my advanced skills. With new Songs, well, there is no Habitual Weeds that need to be pulled, and the ground is fresh plowed and ready for seeding, and the plants pop up big and beautiful, pure and elegant. Ergo, one would conclude that you need to Re-Learn Behavior toward family members. That Sixteen Year Old Stuff is a Patch of Weeds that need pulling.
Which raises the question? Do you Flip Out at Anybody else? Yes, even if you answer ‘NO’, there is a chance that Other People that you may encounter in the future may Remind you somehow of your Mother or your Siblings and set you off unexpectedly. So, yes, you should deal with the problem. But, it would be Nice if you did not have a General ‘Angry at Everybody’ kind of anger.
Anyway, I was saying, before that Thought hit me, that I seem very cognitively talented and I expect that if you attack Anger Management with Discipline, Dedication and a degree of Enthusiasm (strive to be an Anger Expert in your own Right), well, I see you Clearing up your problem in a few years, and going on to becoming the Most Congenial Person in all of the Society you Keep… you will become Famously Nice in your local society.
Now in regards to your request for my favorite books. First, do not deprive yourself of the utility and even amusement of reading the Reviews (go to that Big Online Retailer that used to specialize in books but now sells everything under the Sun). You’ll find books that specially appeal to you, But Also, it is fun to see how Angry People Review Books. Who else but angry people read such stuff, right? Well, some of the reviews… the people Get Angry that the books did not help them Not Get Angry! That being said some of my favorite books are as follows:
Peter Favaro, “Anger Management”. Complete and well organized. I have re-read it more than 3 times.
Potter-Efron “Letting Go of Anger”. Great book. Re-read it a few times. Potter-Efron also wrote “Rage” a book that focusing on the Worst and most Dangerous Degrees of Anger. Most people don’t need to read such a book, but it is informative if you want to be an Anger Expert.
Willian Davies “Overcoming Anger and Irritability”. I like that book and re-read it a few times.
THERE, that ought to keep you busy for a while. Again, let me apologize for not running this through at least one Edit, but I am an old man and my back is killing me….