by Leo Volont » Sat Jun 04, 2016 12:47 pm
Dear Cuthorn ,
Yes, you have some Serious Anger. And apparently you have Tried to Control It, but you haven’t been able to figure out how.
My first thoughts are that you will continue to keep getting into Trouble in School. I suppose that much of your problem results from you having a Proud and Sensitive Nature and that you Over Think things a lot – you are quick to See Insults in everything anybody says or does, and you take offense. It would be Nice if you could treat all of these Tendencies all at once, but in many cases you have to Deconstruct Each Bad Mental Habit One At a Time. And I don’t see that you will have the Free Time and Opportunity to do this WORK on yourself. The School Environment is very stressful for you – and may be too much at one time. You know, there is a Reason why all those Rich People go into “Treatment” – temporary Residential Programs. It provides intense and repeated Therapy, while also providing a less stressful Environment… and, yes, some Angry People can always find something to be Angry about, even if they have to look really hard to find it.
How’s your Health Insurance. If you can get Therapy, then Get It. Your father should help out with the Expenses, almost as a measure in helping to assure his own Safety! But if you can’t afford Therapy then you need to get a Bunch of Anger Management Books and Study them like it is your New Religion.
But, for now, maybe the best Temporary Fix we can find for you is that You need to KNOW at the Exact Moment when Adrenaline Kicks In. You see, it is the Adrenaline that Makes you Go Crazy and Out of Control. I think in your trying to control you anger, you were thinking of Inhibiting Thoughts, which is Okay, but you SHOULD be paying attention to Signs Tensing Up… signs that you are about to get a full scale Angry Adrenaline Rush. People say that Anger takes them TOTALLY by Surprise, but if you pay attention to Angry People in these Episodes, then one can see that they were already Edgy on the startings of an Adrenaline Rush, and just letting it Work On Up. They make fists. They clench their teeth and jaws. They raise their Voice… they begin to Swear. All of These Things are Warnings to Step Back and take a Deep Breath.
Does the School have a Nurse? If so, then talk to the Nurse. Ask her about the Physiological Signs of Impending Anger, and those Adrenaline Rushes I have been talking about. Also, it would seem to the School Administration that you are actually trying to Take Some Positive Actions.
Somebody in the School System may know of an Anger Management Support Group. That would be Very Helpful. Practice at Home. Imagine all the usual situations where you lose your temper, but Imagine it Going Differently. With myself, my First Drip of Adrenaline makes me tense my jaw muscles, so I KNOW right there to put myself on alert to Stay Calm. And, additionally, you really Need to be Less Threatened and Offended by so many things. Just be Cool. Nothing is That Important! Getting Angry will get you into Trouble, so Just Let Stuff Go… Let it all Slide. Observe HOW and WHAT you Think during the Day. Are your Thoughts Pleasant and Positive, or are you being Judgmental and Hateful about Everything? You Really have to Not work yourself up. If something Bothers You, well, Ignore it! Learn to think differently about Things. Not Every Thought needs to be Critical and Hateful. If you can just Mellow Out your Attitude, most of you Job would be done.
Oh, apologize to Everyone. Yes, they will think you apologized before and it did not good. But apologize Again and this time tell them that you are seeking Institutional help – Books, this forum, that you are looking for a Support Group. Let Everyone Know that you are Trying.
I’ll try to be of help…
Please keep us informed of how you are doing. Oh, I am sorry I did not answer your post earlier… I guess I blinked and did not see it… sorry.