Help me

crudi wrote:So I have a constant urge to punch and hurt people .

Example : I talk with a person and while they are speaking I look them straight in the eyes and start imagining bad things I would do to them , it's like watching a movie and the urge to do the imagined things get stronger and stronger almost unresistable . But I manage somehow to to cool down I stand up excuse myself go to the toilet and punch the wall or the door . Then I splash my face with cold water and am okay again . This started about a year ago and it's really frequent now . What the fu*k is wrong with me ?

Dear Mr. Crudi,

Yes, having a Strong Urge to, really, go berserk in Public would be a Serious Problem, especially as you indicate, that it takes some relatively serious Coping Behaviors to shut it down – First, you have to leave wherever it is you are, abruptly… now think of HOW Other People See That. That would be a problem. And Then, Punching and kicking things is a sign that you are HYPED UP on your own Adrenaline.

Okay, you have a real Problem… I think that is ‘for sure’.

But We need to know somethings. Could you please tell us how old you are. Then I would like to know whether you have ALWAYS been able to Cope with your Anger so Effectively. Yes, there are problems with your Coping Behaviors, But, still, With All Those Urges, it seems like kind of a Miracle that you can Always Pull Back from the Edge … even if it is at the detriment of several Walls and Door that get Punched and Slammed.
Have you ever Lost Control? Have you ever Gotten Into Any Official Trouble for Angry Behavior?

But I understand the burdens of all the little threats, frustrations and petty hatreds that Angry Men nurse in their Minds, which Keys Up the Primitive Inner Man which is still so strong in so many of us. The Angry Man is energized for Fight or Flight… fighting gets one in the most trouble, but causing scenes with Dramatic Exits can also become a problem. So, yes, we need to deal with this as a Problem, and we need to treat It as a kind of a Personal Priority.

If you have a Good Health Plan, you could probably get about 10 Sessions from an Anger Management Psychologist for not much more than your Deductible. Or if you have money, you can foot the Bill yourself. If you don’t have that much extra money in your Budget, then, I recommend Reading All of the Good Self Help Anger Management Books. You can go online and pull up Anger Management Titles and read the Reviews, and buy only the best of them. But you have to discipline yourself into reading from them A Lot… so that when ANYTHING happens, you automatically have 3 or 4 Ideas about how NOT TO GET ANGRY….

But Progress in Anger Management doesn’t come Quick or Easy. It takes a while to Read all of the books, and then to re-read them… perhaps to delve more deeply into whatever recommended Practices seemed to have been helpful, in brief.

Waiting to hear from you….

I have kind of lost it sometimes ...........

Example 1 : I have beaten the hell out of my father and after I finished beating him I broke a glass and wanted to stab him to death . The reason was the following : I was in the middle of my movie ( imagining stage ) and he started shouting at me and then I just lost control of myself and my reactions . I just did the same thing from my imagining phase . Luckily my mother was there and " woke me up "


Example 2 : I was talking with my Buddy from school and he made a joke about my grandmother that died 7 days before out talk . I started shaking and just exploded I started beating him with my fists and knees like a combo 4 fist hits to the head then a grab and 4 knee hits in the head . After I have beaten him so he couldn't stand up from the pain I grabed a wooden chair and started smashing him with the chair until it broke ( I focused his knees so he couldn't stand up and fight back .... After I broke the chair I still wasn't finished with my "movie " I grabbed a desk and threw it on his body . After I finished my " movie " everbody was looking and me and then I realized that all the things I did were true . I just left the classroom and smoked a cigarette.

I had a few similar scenarios of losing it as described in example 2 .

Example 3 : I once started fighting 10 people at one because my " movie " urge was to strong and I couldn't resist and tought it would be awesome to beat the hell out of 10 guys at once ( I had a feeling like I would be a God if I managed to pull it off) Everything finished with only a small nosebleed for me and the guys were okay they hit me a few times and left.

I am 19 years old

Hi Crudi,

You have been in so many Fights that you have a pretty good idea of what to do. And I Think you are restraining yourself at a certain level… Notice, you have not Killed Anybody (yet). But there was that instance in which you contemplated using a Broken Beer Bottle as a Weapon on your Father… and in this I kind of assume that you Knew Your Mother was about to Step In and Stop the Fight, and so you just wielded the Broken Beer Bottle as a Weapon for its Dramatic Effect… or I hope so.

But, yes, I figured that anyone as angry as you are Must have gotten into Trouble at least a few times.

I like how you related your Stories… that you seem to Disassociate from the Experience – it doesn’t seem Real… it seems like it is Only a Movie. Yes, that is RAGE. At a Certain Intensity of Adrenaline Rush, there IS the Disassociating Effect. Some People BLACK OUT Altogether – they Trash their Office and everyone is running for their Lives, and then they finally just stop… then after a moment, they look around and say “What Happened to this Place”? But it doesn’t help in Court! The Legal System HATES the idea of Temporary Insanity… Judges don’t really believe in it.

But, yes, you will need Therapy, or you will have to start Digging into Them Anger Management Books. Do you need any help?

Well i think you have a serious trauma in your subconstient mind .I am sure that school has a psicholog ,just program meeting with him and tell them your problems i am sure it will help you out

join martial arts training or do yoga. Dawg i feel and think like this too and I know I am strong enough to have such thoughts and yet completely know who I am and who is in control. I move my hands I smile. Your mind plays games with you do not be mislead its not you its the corporate structuring.
COMEHARD

COMEHARD wrote:join martial arts training...

Dear Comehard,

My! But you will have to explain to me... if you wish me to understand you, WHY you think it is advisable to counsel somebody with Rage and Violence Issues to engage in a Sport that will Teach him how to use his now sloppy and indirect Urges to actually maim or even kill people? I think it compares to advising somebody to join a Gun Club and get a house full of guns, after he writes in and tells us he has fantasies of shooting people. YES, that FEEDS INTO THEIR FANTASY, but, I think when people write in for HELP, it is not the kind of help where we aid and advise them on how best to cater to their Destructive Fantasies. I think they want to STOP all that, and THAT is what we should be trying to help them with. Somehow, telling Angry People to Join a Punch and Kick Club seems contextually inappropriate. .

Yes, yes, I heard the Martial Arts Propaganda a million times -- that they are not LEARNING to Main and Kill, but to Master Self Control. that is what their Marketing People SAY. . But I've also seen the Statistics, and the Read the Newspapers... when there WERE newspapers... and Martial Artists get into trouble A LOT. And it often ends up as Serious Trouble because they are so Well Trained in Causing the Most Harm and Injury in the Shortest Time Possible.

AND, I have a Personal Story. A Million Years Ago when I was in college I had an acquaintance, and we often Partied in the Same Circles, well, one time He Told This UNFORGETTABLE STORY -- it seems that He was a Black Belt in some form or another of Martial Arts, and as he told it, it seems that at Another Party, a year or so back, some guy, lets call him the 'Lonesome Stranger', started talking to his girl friend while he had been off getting a few more beers or whatever, and when my 'friend', upon returning, objected to this lonesome stranger about accosting his girl friend, well, the poor devil Lonesome Stranger probably had a few drinks too many and consequently said to my friend something like "Shove off! Buddy, I was here first", which clearly indicates that the Lonesome Stranger simply did not understand the true dynamics of the situation, and any Calm and Persuasive Person, and especially A MASTER OF SELF CONTROL, would have been able to laugh cheerfully and explain the situation a whole lot better. But my Friend was not Any of That. He became Angry.

SO! What happened next was that my Friend INSTANTLY JUST SNAPPED. In less than a second he grabbed up a Beer Bottle, smashed off the bottom of it across the edge of a table, and shoved it into the Lonesome Stranger's face... and giving it a good twist. The Lonesome Stranger would remain completely blind and probably disfigured for the rest of his life. Nobody knew my friend at this party, and so he was able to make a getaway, and police never followed. I guess his girlfriend (I never liked her) thought it was all some big turn on and kept quiet about it.

Anyway, so much for the Martial Arts. they teach Trouble Makers how to make even bigger trouble.

Try yoga might help with calming the mind.

PhillipLoco wrote:Try yoga might help with calming the mind.

I have found that Yoga... Meditation and All Such may only give an Angry Person something else to be Angry about.

You see, when a Person takes up Such Idealistic and Pure Activities as Yoga or Meditation or some form or another of Deep Religious Prayer or Soulful Introspection, well, DOESN'T that give then a Good Personal Reason for feeling Superior and to be EVEN MORE Aggravated when Lowly Materialistic and Worldly People begin to chatter and annoy them. One only need to Carefully Read all of the Literatures on Yoga and Meditation and Such, and One will find that Some of the Angriest and Most Hostile People who ever Lived had been Master Yogins and Such -- Being so Self-Consciously Superior simply Magnifies the Arrogance that was probably the Original Motivating Force for their taking up 'The Path' in the First Place...or that is my guess... what do you think?

I do not see Yoga as religion . I am an Atheist. I never pray . I only do Yoga for exercise & to clear my mind or empty the mind . I do breathing exercises . I found it helpful so I disagree with you.

So I have a constant urge to punch and hurt people .

Example : I talk with a person and while they are speaking I look them straight in the eyes and start imagining bad things I would do to them , it's like watching a movie and the urge to do the imagined things get stronger and stronger almost unresistable . But I manage somehow to to cool down I stand up excuse myself go to the toilet and punch the wall or the door . Then I splash my face with cold water and am okay again . This started about a year ago and it's really frequent now . What the fu*k is wrong with me ?
Maybe you should see a psychologist.
Why don't you join a boxing club & get than anger out of your system.
Don't hit strangers you will end up in jail.

PhillipLoco wrote:I do not see Yoga as religion . I am an Atheist. I never pray . I only do Yoga for exercise & to clear my mind or empty the mind . I do breathing exercises . I found it helpful so I disagree with you.

Well, yes, of course... if a person has the Means and Opportunity to Isolate Themselves sufficiently to do any kind of 'Peaceful' Yoga or Meditation, then, That will Certainly keep them from Being Angry Then and There. But I used to be quite the Meditator and Yogin myself... something of an Expert at it, in fact ... and I met Plenty of Very Angry People following that Same Path. The 'Cave' only works while one is In the Cave.

But now think about the People who are Writing in for Advice. How much Free Time do you think these people have. There is a REASON why they are so stressed out, and it is likely because their is too many demand on their Time -- they are Worked and Flogged Constantly, so of course they can find No Peace... but why Suggest Meditation or Yoga, when ANY Leisure Activity would be Equally Relaxing. Taking a Nap would be Superb! Well, that was why I spoke of the 'arrogance' of Meditators and Yogins, for supposing that Their Leisure Time Activity is Somehow Superior to Other People's Leisure time Activities. If you want to know the Honest Truth, the Most Peaceful man I Every Knew... well he collected Stamps! So should everybody Collect Stamps? Well, yes, if we fall into that same kind of Logic that the Meditators and Yogins are assuming... yes?...no?

Yoga calms the mind .
You are an expert in Yoga yet criticize such a wonderful exercise system.
Yes you do sound like an expert LOL.
Yes other exercise activities that are also relaxing, but Yoga is specifically aimed at relaxing the mind especially meditation which is also a big part of yoga. .
Tai Chi and to some extend Aikido can also help relax the mind.
So can go out for runs , long walks, training in martial arts , lifting weights, punching a punch bag but its not the same or as effective as Yoga for calming the mind.
Loads of videos on YouTube teaching People how to do Yoga Meditation exercises in the privacy of their own homes even 10 minutes a day will give one a lot of stress relief.
Yoga will help calm stress of every day life.
Excellent way to relax the mind great for anxiety relief .
So I only have good things to say about Yoga,
Namaste

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