So here is my issue. I have been very recently diagnosed with mid range depression and mid range anxiety. The doctor did say that from what I was describing from the last couple years that its been an ongoing issue that I have just now come to try and correct.
One of the main things that's been plaguing me is an obsession with wanting to get an early '90s sports car. Some of the reasons that I want this is not just a midlife crisis. I am a gear head so having a car that I can play around with I feel would help me achieve some sense of accomplishment that I feel like i have lacked for a few years. I also feel like it would help me feel more secure in my transport to work (I would use park and ride and take the train the rest of the way for the 30 miles one way but it would cut a lot of time out of my commute which would take too long to explain here). I want to have something that I can use as a stress relief while I try to go back to school so I can get out of my dead-end job. (I want to stay with the same company but I want to get out of customer service).
I don't have the disposable income to be able to afford getting a car. And i'm not the kind of person to beg for money to get it. I have bills to pay off that once they are paid I can start saving or perhaps get a loan but for right now I am stuck with the train. And buses. I do however keep having dreams about just driving the car I'm thinking about. Is this something normal for depression that I can expect of is this coming from something else? Since i have these dreams and they tend to be very vivid I sometimes have issues waking up and realizing that I have to go back to the train its kinda heart breaking. Its usually days like that that put me into a very dark place that is hard to come out of for the rest of the day. My wife is very understanding and is still trying to help me find something that I can try and fill the hole with but I know that I am really starting to piss her off with how much I am obsessed with it. I don't want to talk to her too much about it cause I know its annoying. I just want to find out if I can get the separation of dream and reality to be a wider gap than normal.
Sorry if none of this makes sense. Thanks in advance for any advice.