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Ascendant78 its understandable to be reflective when you're so fresh from the break. But I agree with Tokeless, that you would be well served to let go of sorting through her garbage and focus on your own back yard here. What got you in trouble was only seeing her side of things instead of just seei...

I'm so glad to hear you have broken away from this ill fated relationship. As always, Richard is an excellent source of insight into the complexities of such matters and I personally love his analysis no matter the subject. For myself I would just like to add this... I hope you learn to love yoursel...

You're placing yourself in a really bad spot even if every single intention comes to pass. First, this is a person who has a crap load of emotional baggage from this relationship. She's already given you the preview by saying its all his fault and he's insane. Right now, you're riding on the wings o...

Confidence comes from demonstrated ability. If you have to play semantics with how you wear it, then you don't have any.

I think if you actually get physically sick thinking about having a relationship, then you need not pursue one. Its not good for you and clearly it won't be in his best interests either. Relationships are work even when both sides understand how to express themselves. If you covet your single life, ...

At your age this is a tough conversation to have because you're still very much in your developmental years. But its never too early to start talking about ownership. However you see yourself or feel about yourself, you ultimately own those perceptions. But at 19, we all tend to be an open book to t...

I can give you a pretty direct perspective, I don't think you've considered. When you were younger and in a different place in life, did you chase after girls that you felt would make you feel better about yourself that were actually not good matches for you then? I ask because the one folly we alwa...

Being in love is such a devils den of torture. When you stand on the outside of something you perceive as wanting, you are programmed to hear and see only the things that will help you procure possession of that. But here's the thing. Being a friend and being a spouse are not equal. The two of you m...

I would like to throw my two cents in here. First , you need to throw out that first statement regarding time on the shelf. If I had a dollar for every time my daughter foolishly described someone passing her 'sniff test' based on how long she's "known" them (either by attending the same s...

Thanks for your response! His anger and emotional abuse is one of the reasons I left home at 17. The unspoken rule seems to be that he can criticize me and others (yes he constantly nit picks others) but no one dare not do it to him or else he rages. The slightest criticism thrown his way gets him ...

One has to wonder if that person is broke now. Money is but one tool to obtaining some goals in life. And depending on what your goals are,play heavily on how much money you need to help you get there. It's like putting gas in your car. Half a tank will get you to the grocery store and back, but it ...

You just defined the built in hypocrisy of the human condition. Do as I say, not as I do. Its much easier to hand out a standard than to participate in it.

I think there's a five hundred pound elephant in the room you've been ignoring... What kind of relationship are you seeking with this girl? I ask because your sense of investment seems to stretch into the territory of someone wanting allot more than a buddy to hang out with. Your initial description...

I have tremendous sympathy for your circumstances. Unfortunately relationships and identity are allot to unpack and sadly we live in a society today that solicits this "other sex life" as the wake up call people are destined to find. I think sense of self, identity of relationships, and ex...

If there is anything I have learned in my 50 plus years of living its that we only control OURSELVES. What we choose to relinquish from that stated control is still of our own doing, because influence comes from adopting something you have heard or witnessed. If you find agreement with it, that does...