Do I have angry management or angry issues?

Dear Nataly,

I'm sure everyone here on the Page is deeply sorry that you are left waiting for an answer.

jaimeculpepper wrote:How can one control anger?

One controls anger by learning to accept what you have control over and what you don't. You do not have control over why people are the way they are or why they do what they do. You don't have control over who your parents are or who your siblings are. You don't have control over traffic, or the weather, or your partner's feelings. Hell, you don't even have control over your own feelings. You can't make yourself, at the snap of a finger, unsad or unangry.

All you have control over is your mindset, your actions, and your reactions to changing circumstances. To overcome your anger, you have to gain control over these three things. You have to take responsibility for how you think, what you do, and how you react. And you have to accept the things you cannot change.

nataly87 wrote:I want to know how can I control OR get rid of altogether my attitude and angry issues and problems.

a lot of issues that people have are caused by "unconsciousness".

say if someone says something to you. something mean.

someone who is in a "higher consciousness", will not take it personally. they will maybe just ignore the words or negative vibes and let them flow over & past them. or maybe ask the other person if they are ok? is everything ok?

continue to stay with their current state of mind. presumably relaxed, happy, peaceful & all those good things.

someone who is unconscious will tend to react to the perceived slight. if they're a fiery hot-tempered person, they will probably say something mean back. which could cause a series of escalations, back & forth. if they're more of a brooder, they may just go cold, silent & unresponsive. etc, etc.

so anyway, the task is to not "catch" the other person's unconsciousness. to stay aware & awake rather than reacting from automatic learned patterns.

becoming aware that you have this automatic pattern is the first step which you are already taking.

here's what eckhart tolle says which is where i really stole all those words from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqX5IFKYFWk

try to buy stress ball, when you body pump up and want to angry or screaming use the stress ball

that work for me

Well you experience this because this negative atitude are very good planted in your subconstient mind and dont let you to be positive .You must stop feeding this negative atitude because you will give more energy and it will become more powerful .You must cange and start thinking optimistical ,read online ,personal development ,read bout control mind .On yt are a lot of videos that help you just focus on positive things and you will atrct more good things that will help you to fix your problem

Please try meditation and yoga

From what I read...they answered you. Matter a fact, i am applying Leo's advice and others...myself

Define, help.

2scents wrote:From what I read...they answered you. Matter a fact, i am applying Leo's advice and others...myself

Define, help.

Oh!.... Thank you.

Hi Nataly,

Welcome to the Forum. And, yes, you do have an Anger Problem. But, truthfully speaking, almost everybody has an Anger Problem. You see, Angry Behavior is driven by Stress, and most people nowadays encounter a lot of stress. If Families incorporated Anger Management Awareness in the way they socialized their Children, there would be far less Anger in the World, but most Families think that Anger is Natural and Unavoidable. The Schools could help, but the Schools are doing the best they can with smaller and smaller budgets, and so only the most essential academic subjects are being taught. So, in the end, what it comes down to is that Anger is a very chronic social problem almost everywhere.

But it is good you noticed it in yourself. There is a lot you can do about it. Most of your Anger derives from just habit – the way you are used to Speaking and Acting, and even Thinking. Most modern Therapy Regiments rely on some form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. This kind of Therapy is very well suited to Anger. Patients are instructed to watch both their Thinking Processes (the internal dialogue that goes on in the head), and their Behavior. And if it isn’t Good, then Change It. Well, it does take a lot of practice, a lot of work, a lot of commitment. Especially with what you Think. You might think that you can’t control what you think, but, remember, they call it internal DIALOGUE for a reason. You CAN talk back to yourself. You CAN disagree with something you are thinking, and you can have a good discussion with yourself… in your head, of course… if you spoke to yourself out loud, people might think you were crazy… or crazier than you really are. So, over time you can correct a lot of your Bad Attitude thoughts.

Bad behaviors can be changed in the same way. If certain forms of speech or action causes you problems, then stop speaking and acting that way. Yes, it takes practice.

Personally, I think the biggest and most important change that an Angry Person can make in his or her life is to stop Swearing – stop using swear words… and not even use them in one’s Thinking. I tend to believe that Angry Behavior is a kind of a Process, and Swearing is an Integral Part of that Process. Also it is Good Practice. After a few Months and you realize that, while you may still be Angry at times, but that you No Longer Cuss or Swear, well, you will Realize that you have the Power to Control yourself, and that Perfection is just a matter of time.

Oh, in a recent post I discussed Impulsive Anger. You should read all these recent posts and then some. Real good stuff, but you can’t say it all over again every time somebody new writes in. But, in short, when under Stress, adrenaline kicks in, and kicks in Very Fast – you have less than 2 Seconds to exert Control over Yourself or, without much Anger Management Training, you will be well on the way to having one of your full blown Anger Episodes. So, you need to learn what Adrenaline Feels like, especially the first inset… the first Second, where you have a chance to shut it down with just Will Power. You can stab yourself with a pin, but often just the thought of stabbing yourself with a pin gives you a bit of an Adrenaline Rush. You need to learn your first noticeable physiological reaction to Adrenaline. Some people clinch their fists. With Me, I clench my jaw. So as soon as I feel my Jaw clench, like when one of my Kitty Cats is naughty, I immediately Un-Clench and Relax. When Adrenaline hits, DON’T DO or SAY ANYTHING, until you are Absolutely Sure you are Clear of its Exciting Influence.

Oh, and I never end one of these first replies without suggesting you go on line and read all the Reviews for the various Anger Management Books and get a few Anger Management Books that you think you might like. and read a bit of them Every Day. Yes, Today, you are all consumed in this Idea that You are Angry and you need to do something about it. But that does not happen Every Day, does it. Most people with Anger Problems, when life is Low Stress, can go weeks, or even Months without Blowing Up. These People are lulled by the Period of Peace into thinking that they don’t have a Problem, or then just forget that they have a Problem. But, if you Know you are an Angry Person, you need to Read from your Anger Management Books once a day – and think about what you read, and remember to do some practices and exercises…. Whatever.

Oh, please forgive me for not editing this better, but my back is killing me. Good night. Good luck.

good ole' post #1 it is the post that when I googled anger management -came up and I read it, it was at turning point for me personally. One reason I signed up to forum...thank you again and your welcome Leo...much appreciated by those around me too-they notice a difference in my actions/reactions!!

Dear $.02

Wow! yes, I was right about editing... it did need SOME editing, BUT, Wow! That was a Great Post! and Some sections were Perfect and rather Compelling. I guess sometimes I really hit my stride...

Recognizing your attitude is a good sign. try to do it slowly create your habit.
E
1.Just plan one thing per day, if you do that tap yourself on the back and say "Im amazing"
2. Everyday you do one thing-so you can create a habit.

If you can do that in the near future you can improve yourself,and you will be no longer stress to yourself.