Where do I start?
I have just spent the last 2 days fighting for my job after being threatened with the sack for not 'fitting in'. My work is not a problem - 100% all round but I have had problems reconcilling with a new member of staff who, although her method of working is somewhat alien to me, really didn't need to experience animosity from me. 'Unapproachable' was a word used to describe me.
I can be moody and am not very good at hiding my true feelings which often gets me into trouble. I just seem to have problems being chirpy and pleasant or at least 'playing the game' as, it seems, most people are able to do.
I saved my job by the skin of my teeth (and lost a lot of self-respect in the process) and I now need to be cheerful and approachable at all times in order to keep my job - this terrifies me as I'm aware I will be constantly monitored and I can't afford to slip up. Don't get me wrong, this is not the job of my dreams but I can't afford to lose it until I've found a new one, which I'm concentrating on as much as possible.
The offshoot of this is that I now feel disappointed, depressed and guilty and the latter is simply further compounded by other small occurances: feeling irritated and being slightly sarcastic because a woman with twins asked me to move on the bus this morning - things like this just make me hate myself - nice people don't think like this, do they?