Fresha wrote:Thanks for taking the time to respond but...
There is no "but". Previously, I took the time to respond to your Internet Bully and Back after 4 Years threads. Guess what? Silence on your part. So this time, I tried something a bit different and it worked. Instead of silence, you were motivated to write a reply.
Did I expect your reply to be positive? Did I expect your sympathy? Absolutely not.
Why does the darkness return for you? Sure, you can say it is the alcohol and OTC drugs, but it isn't that simple. Why do you turn to substances to deal with life in the first place? Maybe, it's because you are the one being cold, unsympathetic, untrustworthy, and arrogant. Being you isn't fun. It's exhausting for you to spend the energy to cultivate wonderful relationships and then destroy them, right?
Your wonderful new wife of just a few years ago and precious daughter did not suddenly become cold and against you. Your friend did not suddenly become untrustworthy.
The main point, is the alcohol and OTC drugs are not the root issue of your darkness. They are just a symptom. It's your own arrogance, and more precisely that you don't even see that arrogance, that keeps opening the door for darkness to enter. You use people. You use relationships, but you don't see it.