gallowhillroad wrote:Hello,
I am new here and I really don't know where to start, but I'm just gonna go right ahead.
My husband and I have been together for less than a year as married couple, but 5 years including boyfriend/girlfriend stage. We were so happy and we looked like the ideal couple as we didn't argue much and we're just like happy go lucky.
However, after we got married, i find myself getting irritated easily. I get angry most of the time, especially if things don't go according to how i plan it. i get upset even with the littlest things. Recently, i started cursing and swearing at him. I hated it so much, but for some reason, i can't control it. the worst part is, after I release all my anger, i start to feel really awful and become apologetic. My husband is such a loving and understanding man. never did he shout back at me. He would just stay quiet and tell me he'll just wait until i calm down. I hate this so much. I know the problem is me, but how can I change it? last night, before we went to bed he asked "am i a bad husband?" it hurts me so much because I know he's been nothing, but supporting and loving. i am obviously hurting him. help. i want to change, but i don't know how.
i can't help getting teary eyed while typing this. I don't want to lose my husband. i don't want to keep emotionally hurting him, but when i start to feel angry, i just snap. i really want to change.
Dear GHR,
Welcome! To the Page! Of course it cannot be a very Cheery Moment for you now, but we all Hope that when you Someday Look Back in Time, you find this Event a Happy Memory.
Oh! Reading your Post. Yes, you are absolutely correct in your assessment of yourself. Your Poor Husband! Of course, you clearly Explained that it is NOT HIM, but since He is your Only Available Target, well, he Catches all your Fire, isn’t that so? But you Need to take care of This Difficultly as quickly as Possible, because, well, the Most Common and Accepted Explanation for Constant Irritability in a Wife is that she has grown to Despise her Husband. Your Husband, though I suppose he has always been above such, well, ‘domestic Women’s Magazine’ Issues, may find himself Encountering this Anti-Husband Explanation everywhere He turns and it may become difficult for him to continue to ignore it.
BUT, Something has you Snapping and Biting at the End of your Chain, so to speak. So, Let’s do a little bit of Probing, uncomfortable as that may be, to find out EXACTLY what has you so Nervous and Irritable.
Oh, I think you forgot to mention how Old you are. Oh, well, you’re a Lady, and so I will Work Around all of that. Let me Guess that you are Old Enough to have passed beyond the Age where All of the Wondrous Dreams of your Youth should have already Happened… that “your ship should already have come in” and that you should have been Crowned Queen of the World ages ago. You know it is easy enough for me to imagine that after Decades of Hard Work in educating and preparing yourself, your Career has just plopped you into Work Hours of Constant Drudgery ….and Even When There Are Challenges and you Battle Though All of Them to improbable and almost miraculous Victory, well, then there are not Rewards, no Recognition… just Fellow Co-Workers wondering What Took You So Long on the Smith Account. All of that Aggravation could Unruffle a Perfect Saint!
Oh, but it might be more than just You Realizing that All of the Dreams of your Youth had gone ‘down’ in flames and ashes. Afterall… EVERYONE goes through THAT. Hmmmm… Let me Think… You didn’t mention any children. Usually women mention children … one can hardly FIND a Mother who does not Mention her Children. So I presume you are childless. You Dated for 5 years and have been Married for 1. There doesn’t seem to be any pressing urgency about having children. Is THAT it? Of course I am a Man and Know Nothing about Such Things, but I have heard that Many of Today’s Career Women, even the Ones doing Really Well, feel Forlorn and Empty because of their Childlessness… and then almost every day, out about Town, Shopping In the Finest Shops, well, One sees all of the Babies and they are Everywhere, no? …. What an Irony! Being ‘Haunted’ by little Budding Full of Life Babies…
Well, that should be Enough Probing and Speculation for one Evening. Let’s chat later. Do tell me what you think. I am sure All of us here at the Page will jump in and Figure Out everything it Takes to make your Life Good Again…. And the Sun will Once More Shine, and the Birds will Once More Sing.