Hello,
I am new here, and I feel more comfortable after reading other posts, to talk about myself. Thank you for reading this.
The last three years have been hell to me, I am a foreign student in Paris, I have nobody here (family), I started working, paying bills, and going to uni here...etc, but the thing is I never trust myself in any kind of situation, I did use to have a low self-esteem but now it got worse, I am not doing well in my exams, can't concentrate, always comparing myself to others. I am not the tall, hot girl, I a not ugly neither, but I always see myself as the ugliest, worst person, If I am having a problem with someone, I always blame myself for it even when I am right. My love life isn't at its best as well, the guy I like is interested in another girl, I am bringing this up because at first he seemed to like me, but this girl is different than me, she confident, beautiful, and she even goes out with a guy just so he could help her at uni(She admits it), I want to be her...
I want to be confident, I want to stop treating myself in a bad way, I used to be clever now I feel stupid, I feel like I am lost and nobody cares, and that everyone hates me, I am becoming agressive and thinking about committing suicide, I've wanted to but couldn't...
I wish could give you more details but there are so many things happening to me, so I just share how I feel.
I am afraid this affects my life, I don't want to disappoint my parents who believe in me, but I don't have control over my emotions, though I am mature enough and been throw a lot, but I am fed up...
I am not a native English speaker, forgive me for my English...