Non-Rage Non-Adrenaline Driven Anger

We often discuss the most serious forms of Anger, which are Violent or Near Violent Rages, which are pumped up and propelled by Adrenaline – the “Fight or Flight” Adrenal Secretion that is released when we feel threatened or under attack. And since Rage brings upon us the most serious consequences, it is understandable that we speak much of it. But the Lesser Non-Adrenaline Driven Forms of anger can get us into trouble too – the ‘Boss’ might not summarily dismiss us as he would for a Rage Episode, but we would be put on ‘warning’, and our Spouses would not instantly run off to the Shelter where they hoist up the draw bridge if they see us coming from a mile away, but still a lesser Incident of Anger would still be extremely unpleasant for them and be added to the List of Reasons they keep for going back home to Mother. So we must take the Lesser Levels of Anger Seriously too.

The Less Serious Forms of Anger can be addressed in a different way from Rage Anger where the emphasis is on catching the first sign of an Adrenaline Release and immediately Chilling It Down, and by monitoring our Thinking and Emotions for Exaggerated Sensibilities and Low Thresholds for Threat and Insult, and by inculcating the Life Doctrine of just trying to be more Cool and Mellow about Things. With the lesser forms of Anger we see mostly just Very Bad Behavioral Habits, often going way back to Infancy, but if Parents and Teachers don’t Crack Down on these Residual Infantile Behavior, then they can manages to Persist into Adulthood.

Most of your Loud, Complaining, Swearing and Stomping-Around Anger is a Remnant of the Infantile ‘Tantrum’. Now, this is not a Page on how Parents should raise their Children, BUT as soon as Infants are developed enough to even understand the Feeling of what they are being Told, it must be insisted upon that there will be No Reward, No Appeasement for Tantrum Behavior – kicking and screaming will know no quarter… especially out in Public – in Restaurants, Super Markets, Theaters and Air Liners where the Parents have to be Dead Inside not to realize the Dark Thoughts generated and directed at them by All for Their coddling, permitting, and, yes, even encouraging the Shrill, Nasty, Spoiled and Insane Behavior of their Children. Most of these Parents are under the delusion that the Child will “Grow Out of It”, but so many Instances of Adult Anger of the Same Essential Description are a clear indication that Children do not simply “Grow Out of It”. What does happen is that the Behavior undergoes Development, Elaboration and Modification as the Child gets older, but the General Idea of Being Loud and Obnoxious in order to Get His Own Way, that continues on. The Child, no longer an Infant, will no longer be literally ‘kicking and screaming’ but will be persistence in ‘begging’ for what he wants, and will sulk and show a moody displeasure if his requests are resisted, and if ‘forced to the Wall’ by stern Refusal will resort to Cussing and Screaming. It would all end there BUT this is when Parents relent and get their demanding little Tyrant his or her Video Game or PadPod Phone Thing or Whatever – the Reward for being so Insufferable. I suppose the Parents usually cover their Retreat by Making a Deal – asking that the Child first get a Passing Grade in School or completing some Chore at Home, but it IS a Capitulation and the Child KNOWS he Won – they he or she once again Defeated and Utterly Destroyed Mom and Dad. Even in Schools many of the Teachers will give in to Loud, Rude and Unreasonable Demands or Behavior if it will save them the trouble of Pursuing Official Disciplinary Actions (In the Old Days Teachers could resort to the Rod or Paddle and deal with Disciplinary Problems almost Instantaneously and generally Very Effectively, and in some Parts of the World where this is Still Allowed, the Schools seem to Perform at a Higher Level because of It). Somehow Teachers don’t think they have enough Time in the Day or get Paid Nearly Enough to fill out reams of Paperwork and lay all of their Business bare before the School’s Principle every time a Child talks back, and even if they DID, the Children tend to Laugh Off the mild and mellow forms of Discipline that ARE administered to them. So the Problem Persists – if Infantile Behavior is positively Rewarded or at least Condoned all through Childhood, then it will Survive into Adulthood.

There are other Forms of Persisting Infantile Behaviors that can be Problematic, such as the way Spoiled Children get anything they want just from being Cute and Adorable. This leads to a Life of Manipulative and Deceptive Behavior, as the Children learn how to Lie and Deceive in order to augment their ‘Cuteness’ Presentations, BUT, strictly speaking, this is not an Anger Problem. Manipulators might resort to Anger as a very last Resort, but it is almost to admit that All of their Usual ‘Cute’ Tricks have Failed Them, and I believe that Manipulators are too Proud to allow that… to SNAP into a Fit of Ugly Anger would be, well, a kind of a Nervous Breakdown for them. So you won’t see much Anger from Manipulators, but if you do, it is likely to be Very Serious! But, GOOD! A Breakdown couldn’t happen to a Better Person than a Manipulator!

Well, that is enough for now. If anybody is curious then we can talk about how to deal with these Residual Infantile Behaviors that lead to Ordinary but Still Troublesome Episodes of Adult Anger.