DavidB wrote:To avoid a similar situation?
Are you talking about new experiences in the future with other women or are you addressing to being in a similar situation with this very same girl?
Either. Or both.
I would never accept this behavior in a normal situation, I would basically just walk away and be done with it if a healthy person acted like this.
What was abnormal in this situation? It's extremely common, people with poor self-esteem being "in love" with people who treat them casually. viewtopic.php?t=1352
It is hard to deal with something new, no matter what it is.
What made you think you had to deal with this? Did you, perhaps, have some kind of White Knight Syndrome? I say that, because people usually walk away as soon as it becomes clear that a relatively new partner isn't that into you. It's a whole different ballgame if you've been married 50 years and your spouse develops a mental illness.
And if I ever get the chance, I will tell her so. That I won't accept that.
But you did accept it, kept telling her you were "there for her", and because of your responses here one or two of us are concerned that this is more about you than about her, which would make it very likely you'll hook up with another non-starter.
I really dont understand what my self-esteem has to do with it?
People with healthy self-esteem rarely choose partners with diagnosable mental illness, which depression is, or those who think depression excuses poor behaviour towards... people like you.
I think the real problem lies in misunderstanding the depression and by doing so, believing her behavior to be acceptable, and not holding her responsible for her actions.
Next time you meet a girl who you think is "something I want for life" (your first post), you need to raise the bar -- quite a lot -- re. what constitutes acceptable behaviour. I also hope you'll immediately reject anyone who can't be held responsible for her actions.