Delco12345 wrote: I'm just wondering if anyone out there has ever been in a similar position, and if they have any words to share with me. I'm really struggling.
At some point in life, almost every adult has made bad decisions and has experienced the pain of immense regret. What makes the difference is how we learn to handle this pain.
The secret formula for learning to deal with regret has been passed along in ancient texts for thousands of years. In many cases it has become institutionalized in one form or another. While there are differences between texts, they share a similar structure:
-1- Confess (acknowledge your mistake)
-2- Ask for forgiveness
-3- Accept the consequences
-4- Conduct some form of prescribed restitution (this is also about learning, gaining knowledge as to not repeat the same mistake)
-5- Forgive yourself and move on with life.
It is a phased process that understandably is not easy. It is a difficult road that results in many people staying in bed.
It sounds to me like you are somewhere around step 2 or 3. You might lose your job, so you are not able to yet accept the consequences. But, to minimize the consequences the best approach is to be open and honest with your employer, step 1 and 2.