Grief,loss,guilt,depression, and drugs ...dont forget them

**Posts:** 9 · by **DrNateOrdie** » Thu Oct 20, 2011 5:35 am

I am a drug addict and have been since i was 15.I am now 23 and recently did 3 1/2 years in prison for selling prescription pills.
My best friend in the whole world at the time overdosed and died ,my pills i sold being a contributing factor.I was sober for some time after being released but all the old memories that haunt me are everywhere.I started using opiates again.I am so torn between getting high and forgetting everything and my best friend which i lost to the same drugs i am taking.
Ive made the decision to start going back to NA meeting and quit using drugs.I cant sleep ,I cant hardly do anything without thinking of my friend.He is in my dreams quite often and it just makes it so hard.I feel so guilty,I killed my best friend.And now i am slowly but surely killing myself .....and i dont want to care...i dont want this sh** no more...but i do care and it is hurting me so bad to live with this.

**Posts:** 1083 · by **givingup** » Fri Oct 21, 2011 3:14 pm

DrNateOrdie wrote:I am a drug addict and have been since i was 15.I am now 23 and recently did 3 1/2 years in prison for selling prescription pills.
My best friend in the whole world at the time overdosed and died ,my pills i sold being a contributing factor.I was sober for some time after being released but all the old memories that haunt me are everywhere.I started using opiates again.I am so torn between getting high and forgetting everything and my best friend which i lost to the same drugs i am taking.
Ive made the decision to start going back to NA meeting and quit using drugs.I cant sleep ,I cant hardly do anything without thinking of my friend.He is in my dreams quite often and it just makes it so hard.I feel so guilty,I killed my best friend.And now i am slowly but surely killing myself .....and i dont want to care...i dont want this sh** no more...but i do care and it is hurting me so bad to live with this.

You didnt kill your friend . If your friend sold you gear and you OD'd it would have been your responsibility .. no ?

Separate that from the emotion .

G.

**Posts:** 3 · by **Inspired Minds** » Mon Dec 19, 2011 4:41 pm

You gotto let go of your past and start living your life. Grief has no power over you, nor should the drug. You are still so young, don't waste your life.

**Posts:** 4 · by **mentalease** » Thu Dec 22, 2011 6:26 pm

Hello,

I've worked with individuals with trauma and it can be very hard to "get it out of your mind". I donate a certain amount of time every month helping those with trauma. We have seen tremendous success in short time with many. If you would like help at no charge, I can see if we can fit you in for over the phone help on the trauma issue. Does that sound fair enough?

James D.

Grief,loss,guilt,depression, and drugs ...dont forget them

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