Need advice on a family problem.

**Posts:** 10 · by **ely6052** » Tue Apr 23, 2019 3:01 am

So for the past couple of days my mom and her boyfriend (who I consider like a stepdad because he has been and has lived with my mom for a long time) have been fighting. My mom said that she wants us to leave and not tell him and it scares me. I don’t know what he will do when he realizes that she, my brother, and I are gone. I don’t think he will try to find us and hurt her but I really don’t know how he will react in the moment. I don’t want to tell him anything because I don’t want to get involved in their problems and my mom said she is not going to leave any time soon, she is going to stay calm and wait a couple of months she said to see how things plays out but if the problems continue we will leave.

So I want to know what do I do and how do I stop being scared?

Background: I am 27 and am going to turn 28 in June, female, and my mom’s boyfriend is 50 and my mom is going to turn 50 in October. They bought a 3 family/floor house together about 3 years ago and about a month ago part of the third floor and the entire roof caught on fire. We are living in a home for rent under the care of the insurance company. I don’t think they are fighting about the house at all, but all around it’s just a stressful and anxiety ridden situation with the house problem added to it.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Tue Apr 23, 2019 4:33 am

ely6052 wrote: So I want to know what do I do and how do I stop being scared?
Background: I am 27

You said you are not scared that he will physically harm anyone. Other than physical harm, what scares you?

I guess, I’m trying to make better sense of why the situation would be scary. I can understand it sucks to be in a home if there is anger. I can understand the unpleasant feeling.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Tue Apr 23, 2019 5:18 am

Okay, I see from previous threads you often have irrational fears. Here is a post you made from back in 2016....

ely6052 wrote:UPDATE: So the anxiety went away after having it for about 4 months. But now it is back again (the anxiety/fear about the civilization ending in 2020 because of climate change) after about a year. This has happened to me before in 2010 and 2012 because of the end of the world thing on December 21, 2012. This is my fourth round with it.

My advice is to seek help from licensed therapists that specialize in addressing irrational fears. People in a public forum can provide you advice all day long, but you will find little comfort until the underlying causes are addressed. Your anxiety will just transfer from one irrational fear to the next.

**Posts:** 10 · by **ely6052** » Tue Apr 23, 2019 5:52 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
ely6052 wrote: So I want to know what do I do and how do I stop being scared?
Background: I am 27

You said you are not scared that he will physically harm anyone. Other than physical harm, what scares you?

I guess, I’m trying to make better sense of why the situation would be scary. I can understand it sucks to be in a home if there is anger. I can understand the unpleasant feeling.

He has broken a door before and pushed my mom once before so that’s why I am scared. He did it when he was drunk but that is no excuse and he did stop drinking and hasn’t done anything like that since. But other than the physical harm I don’t know what else I am scared of.

I will try to seek help like you said and see what the underlying problem is.

Need advice on a family problem.

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