Heya!
Before I get stuck in, what I'm going to type pretty much revolves around my knowledge of hypnosis, yet being unable to be hypnotized. Where being hypnotized entails experiencing recreational effects (i.e. temporary amnesia, an inability to move, etc.) as opposed to the more therapeutic/just entering trance pleas.
I'll try to paint as broad a picture of my understanding/experiences as possible to avoid any repeats, & hopefully help you to help me.
My Sources
Just so we’re all aware - I've never taken any courses, so I apologize for any ignorance I may show. What I have done, however, is scour the internet for relevant materials over many years.
My Understanding
So we're clear, my understanding of how hypnosis works, is that it's all in your head. What I mean by this, is that - all hypnosis is technically self-hypnosis, a hypnotist is simply acting as the guide to the subject who's taking the journey him/herself. Thus, if the subject simply believes or wants to experience what is being described, he/she probably will. The same as sitting in a room, picturing through imagination a hot desert, you'll start to feel hotter. So if the subject doesn't like what's going on, he/she won't feel the effects.
Just the other day in fact, with nothing to do with trance, my friend was having a panic attack. So I had her hold her hands out, and formulate a stress ball, drawing all of the uneasiness from her body through her hands into this ball. Then after some waffles later, got her to toss it out the window, which made her feel so amazing that she simply didn't know how to react to what had just happened. So even in practicing hypnosis (albeit light in this scenario) I feel as though I have a decent understanding (more importantly, enough to know it's real. I'm anything but a sceptic).
There are different types of hypnosis, such as the slow methodical relaxation, instant inductions (which I believe is a process of confusing the mind for a temporary moment, allowing direct comms to the subconscious?) & stage hypnosis (which is just pre-prepared hypnosis). Conversational too, but I’ve never researched that.
Also,
* I'm aware that everyone (including myself) enters trance all the time- from daydreaming to pre-sleeping.
* I'm aware that hypnosis isn't something that "strong willed" or "intelligent" people are impervious to, in fact quite the opposite. Which must mean that I'm a weak-willed idiot...
* I’m aware that everyone can be hypnotized...
My Attempts
I've acquired simply thousands of audio / video files over many years, for all of which to have no effect on me whatsoever. The majority of which, being recreational. If one said "You can't move", I'd’ve still been able to move. If another said "your only thoughts are of my voice", I'd’ve ended up thinking random shizzle. Now speaking honestly, I have absolutely No reason not to want to go along with these suggestions, as since a young age, this idea of being led/controlled in such a manner has been incredibly enticing. It’s worth noting that the one thing I Was able to achieve & can do via self-hypnosis as a result – was deep relaxation. I can always attain that with any file, but nothing else beyond it. By myself, I can even cause my body to vibrate, comfortably numb, through being so deeply relaxed.
I eventually came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to get anywhere with these impersonal/detached files – a personal touch would be more appropriate; a professional, even better. I tried asking online for help/advice, but to no avail. This post may be a similar event... In fact, I ended up researching how to hypnotize instead, which was a much easier process.
In order for me to experience it - I decided to go for an in-person meet. It seemed natural that if an expert can successfully hypnotize me, it’ll have the effect of “blowing away any hidden scepticism or concerns, proving I can be hypnotised”. That way, I could enjoy recreational hypnosis with confidence that I know I can now be hypnotized. However, I know no-one into hypnosis. Or anyone to try it with. So I decided to message Hypnotists. Hah... The only ones I could find, were hypnotherapists & hypnodommes.
Primarily, the hypnotherapists rejected my request of simply being "hypnotized". Neo-Hypnotists told me that there's no such thing as trance, & that they "usually use EFT [...] and it would need to be used on a real issue." I did meet up with one hypnotherapist, actually, but I felt incredibly awkward as she, rightfully so as her profession dictates, was playing the therapist role more so than anything else. Along with repairing my soul. Seemingly, she ignored my initial plea to become a better hypnotic subject, urging instead that I keep to a weekly therapy session with her due to my many underlying issues. She looked positively shocked at some of the things I said about my life...
So without any headway down that avenue (after several months of trying), I decided that I'd have to try a hypnodomme. Equally inappropriate, but who out there is actually there to "just hypnotize" you? I met up with an elderly lady who was right down kinky lane - only for her to be confronted with a skinny early twenty-year-old stuttering all over the place. It wasn't long before the sultry voice was swapped out for a normal one, realizing that I really wasn't there just to get off. A much more comfortable setting than the therapist's ironically - I was able to talk much more freely about my scenario actually. She just did a basic relaxation script, was convinced that I was a great subject, & that if she suggested something for me to do (which she didn't) I'd do it. At this point, the thing is, I felt again incredibly awkward. In the face of someone that's so sure of their skill, or rather my suggestibility, if she said "you can't move, try" & I’d moved, it'd’ve been a terribly awkward/embarrassing affair! I should also add that I felt very comfortable with her as an individual. We got along swimmingly, so I can safely say there was no apprehension in the air –it wasn’t as though I was too scared/uncomfortable in her presence to go into hypnosis.
After that (6 months ago) I decided to come here after failing at video/audio files yet again...
People's Reactions
You see, when I explain that I'd like to experience hypnosis but can't be hypnotized, I get met with "you're not viewing hypnosis the right way", “your expectations of it are wrong” or "everyone experiences different levels of trance".
The reason for my not viewing it the right way is, I assume, because they think that I think hypnosis is some sort of supernatural process. It’s not. It’s as though they’re just outright dismissing any hypnosis that involves you forgetting a number, believing you’re a chicken or thinking you’re a sex guru, as though they were unrealistic & not real at all. How can I be dismissed so easily, along with these abundantly practiced hypnotic episodes!? I just don’t get it...
One person said that when they experience hypnosis (said person simply viewing youtube videos) she doesn’t really get hypnotized, she just pretends to. Then feels so good that she just goes along with it. I’ve tried “pretending”, but again, when I’m tested (“move your hand if you can”) I can. I want to believe I can’t – I pretend I can’t – I go along with everything in a file pretending I believe every word! – but at the end of the day, I know I’m not actually hypnotized. People then say “well you Could have moved, but you didn’t, did you? So you Must have been hypnotized!” And on half the attempts, no I didn’t move, because I was just told by the same doofus that I should go along with it in the first bloody place (this argument is so infuriating). Then on the other half, I got bored pretending so just closed the file halfway through out of frustration. Lying to myself doesn’t make me feel any more hypnotized than before, if anything, more agitated.
So, according to everyone that’s responded to me in the past, the verdict is – unless I'm willing to always pretend that I’m hypnotized, I can't be hypnotized as I’m stopping myself. Which means that I can’t become hypnotized Ever, because it’s simply not Real. Yet other people will always be able to become hypnotized, to catatonic states too (oh the envy) because they believe it to be real, or just pretend it’s real. Yet I know it’s real, but am told I have to pretend it is to experience it properly. Just wtf^infinity.
Thus, now I’m left with a terribly confused understanding as the internet experts have painted this picture that Hypnosis isn’t real at all. It’s just a heightened state of gullibility which I’m rather jealous of not possessing. Ergo, I am officially 100% unable to ever experience hypnosis that people who believe they’re chickens can. Ever. Ultimately, my will here to not "pretend" and to "experience" overpowers any possible chance a hypnotist has of hypnotizing me - beyond getting me suitably relaxed for bedtime that is.
All I want to do is forget a goddamn number at first hahaha
Possible reasons for my inability
* I want it to be genuine, not me "faking it". Perhaps I don’t know what hypnosis is supposed to feel like, so because it isn’t what I expect, I’m somehow denying it!? I don’t even know how that works...
* I’m too scared of it not working, that I stop it from working from the fear alone.
* I have a monkey’s mind - my mind wanders a lot. I’m incredibly analytical as well... & for some reason, I’m always itchy when trying. I’m also unsure if the position I’m in is the right one because it’s not “just right”.
What I’ve ultimately had to come to terms with, is that Hypnosis (of the stage kind that I’ve been referring to) is simply ineffectual when geared towards myself, as I’m unable to go along with it. I really am immune. Sure, I can make my body feel heat or cold with thoughts, but can I become temporarily paralyzed, trying to move with all my might to no effect? No.
Questions
Any tips?
Anything to try?
Anything to discuss?
Just, anything?
Ultimately, aside from any helpful advice & perhaps an enlightening conversation about hypnosis, I’m really just yearning for a means to experience jovial hypnosis, thus looking for help one last time.