Hamming wrote:I don't get why they should feel worse if I start new topic when there is no talk. If they have some bad feelings, new topic might make forget those feelings.
This shows breathtaking insensitivity. If someone you love died this morning, will you be glad to see a 'friend' who insists on knowing what you think of the latest action movie? Will you feel immediate relief, and forget the sadness of loss?
people look like most succesfull who talk the most and loudest so they show example how to be most succesful and they teached me to try this looks like.
If you're a politician you might win followers with this tactic, but I don't think you'll make any friends by constantly shouting over other people.
I thought I am listening enough, because she usually does not complain.
Maybe she's given up trying to get a word in, or has discovered you're incapable of empathy. She's doing what you propose to do: keeping the connection because there aren't enough people in her life.
with her it feels like I dont have to follow all those rules so stricly which is why I like talking to her the most from my friends I guess.
We know you like talking. Do you also listen, and care about how she's feeling?
I think I want to find some friends who I can talk free without rules, and then think in my mind about others "**** you", you are not as good so I will only talk to you if I will have free time. Or minimally to keep the connection.
Why so hostile? And why not just stay away from people you don't like? You're not going to find good friends by tolerating bad ones.
Maybe, so still if I ask how he spent weeked, then I might make feel him worse? Which is not good.
You said it, Hamming. As mentioned above, if he's doing it tough he won't want to spend time with someone who insists on lightweight conversation on the grandiose assumption that you'll make him forget his own woe. This person presumably has experience of your company, and knows you aren't someone he can confide in.