Scary Person

That's very stupid and mean of you. I wouldn't call doing what you mentioned very intelligent if I want to improve myself. Thank you for reminding me that I am the daughter of a nutter -_-

Why do you write ''loool'' at the end? You think this is a joke? That my situation is funny?? Perhaps you are a little bit sick if you have to add ''lolz'' at the end of all of you replies and insults toward people. How am I suppose to improve myself if I become paranoid myself? I wanted before when she was bad to report her to a mental facility, but I couldn't do that to my little brother and family reputation ( Having a mom in a mental facility isn't something to show off about really.) She is still taking medication to treat her bipolar illness and stopped drinking completely. She wants to get healthier and is doing better. She wants to see people and the world and actually improved and me and many people noticed it. I am happy that she is better, but for ME it's too late because the mental scars, the things I had to endure and see and hear are stuck in my head and that's why I can't stand horror movies,bad news,bad weather because I get mental triggers. So I try to watch children movies and happy things to re-live my youth the way I wanted to live youth even if I am in my late 20's.

I understand. But you have to understand that moving on is hard sometimes. I am not the only adult who is struggling with the past or have issues in life. Wounds take time to heal. What would you do in my situation to improve and live to the fullest my last 20's happily after such incidents and past.

I understand. But you have to understand that moving on is hard sometimes. I am not the only adult who is struggling with the past or have issues in life. Wounds take time to heal. What would you do in my situation to improve and live to the fullest my last 20's happily after such incidents and past. Remember that what I experienced hurt me and left me marks inside.

bambamthankyoumam wrote:
U ever wonder why some people get rich and some people get stuck in a slump in life? its because of how they spend those 17 hours of their day.

Yep. We can spend our time blaming others for our behaviors or we can take responsibility for ourselves and spend our time working on things that will improve our lives. This requires we changes our behaviors. Bottom line, what changes can you make QB?

I support Bam's and Richard's view. What can you do to change your life experience for the better? Forget who did what on you. It's not important anymore. What are YOU going to do about your problems? Are you going to remain the victim or are you going to move on? What are you going to do with the one short life that you've got?

You're an adult now. It's time to take adult responsibility for your own happiness. Your mum is never going to be the mum you want and need. I'm not speaking out of school. My mother is no angel either. Some people shouldn't be let be parents.

Here's a link to some info on Transactional Analysis that could possibly help you if you in fact took your time to study, understand it and employ it as a tool to stay grounded in whatever life throws at you.
http://www.claudesteiner.com/tasimp.htm

I can get occupied. I already know what field interests me and were I can make that happen for my future career. Now I have a regular minimum wage job,but I work many hours to save money and build up savings for my future and the one of my family. I can work on getting my health back and organizing for my future and good quality time to improve myself. Like taking fresh air, working out physically and at work so this way I make money and feel healthier. I should stop being negative and focus on negative people who don't like me and just make more space for good people and positive people who make me feel good. I shouldn't waste time on negative things or people anymore. Just move on with the things that make me happy and the positive people who like me and accept me. The main purpose of life is to enjoy it.

QueenBeauty? wrote:I can get occupied.... I should.... I shouldn't waste time.... Just move on... The main purpose of life is to enjoy it.

"You can, you should, and if you're brave enough, you will." ~ S. King

QueenBeauty? wrote:I can get occupied. I already know what field interests me and were I can make that happen for my future career. Now I have a regular minimum wage job,but I work many hours to save money and build up savings for my future and the one of my family. I can work on getting my health back and organizing for my future and good quality time to improve myself. Like taking fresh air, working out physically and at work so this way I make money and feel healthier. I should stop being negative and focus on negative people who don't like me and just make more space for good people and positive people who make me feel good. I shouldn't waste time on negative things or people anymore. Just move on with the things that make me happy and the positive people who like me and accept me. The main purpose of life is to enjoy it.

QB, there are a lot of positve comments in the above. The one thing where I would suggest you be careful, is the idea on making judgments regarding if a person in your life is positive or negative. The reason, is because it is this focus on other people and what they think about you that seems to always drag you into the forum.

Focus on yourself, focus on your field of interest on getting healthy and enjoying life. Don't worry about other people for a while and the extent to which they are positive or negative or what they do or do not think about you. A change you can make is to focus on yourself and not focus on others and what they think or how they act.

What you said Richard@DecisionSkills is very wise and sounds good to me. Yes changing my perceptions of people. I tend to be very negative and I admit it. The reason I am negative and tend to have trusting issues in people is because I've been betrayed many times when I was being a good person. I used to see everybody positively and try to understand why some people are mean and negative and I tried to help them. By being repetitively betrayed I started becoming tinted with lots of hatred and sadness. Once when I was being extremely nice to people someone came up to me and called me an idiot and said that if i continued being this way people would never respect me because in the modern world you gotta be cold and severe for people to fear you and respect you upfront and that no matter how nice I am people will always find a reason to talk behind someone's back.Also like I explained on this specific thread, what I grew up with didn't help because my parents were often negative and themselves had bad luck with people. Now I can say that it's not good to have a negative perception of everyone and to live in constant hatred because I do suffer in this and I do admit that I did mistakes in my life. I know that I am the one people often see as being sad, awkward and mood changing but deep down I know that despite my mistakes with people and the way I appeared is all linked to my past and what made me the way I am.

I try to be better and what I noticed helped me lately is to delete from my life people who don't get me or click with me.BUT keeping the ones who do care for me and ask how am I doing just like I do to them. I deleted those who don't bother talking to me when I come up to them or invite me anywhere because I am not like them. I want to surround myself with good people who went through a good life and past and perhaps even a bit of what I had so they can relate and understand me and together we can help each other. I can often relate to villains in some movies and I often have a fascination to understanding villains because often movies reveal why they became the way they are and what made them the way they are. I can relate to this. I try to bring the best out of me and fight that anger and frustration I often get. I want to help myself. If someone doesn't see my efforts or refuses to like me and the good part I am trying to show then in this case I should move on and be with people who bring and see the best of me. Like my husband : He knows I have issues and knows my past, but he sees that deep down I am a good person and am very generous. I just need to focus more on me and let go of negative people who aren't helping me bringing the best of me to life. I shouldn't care anymore of looks I get or how some people don't seem to like me. I should eliminate these thoughts and people from my entourage and mind because it's not healthy for me to become a better person inside and outside. My husband is a very nice person and has a huge heart, but his facial features often make people think he is mean and snob, but he isn't. They just judge without getting to know him. He knows that some people don't like him and don't give him the chance to know him better than just want they see in one conversation. But he says he doesn't have time to care because he prefers being with people and keeping people who took time to know him and like him. I would love to be this way and am working on it Richard. I will bring out the best in me, stop caring about other's opinion, looks toward me and focus on people who bring out the best of me this seems good and I will work on my perceptions. What I don't like about this society is that often when they see you aren't the same as everyone and do things differently they exclude you and start putting you in a category of people. I know plenty of people like me who don't like clubs, bars and having huge parties and these people are put in anti social categories, but it's not true we are not anti socials. We do socialize, but we simply don't need alcohol and partying all the time every week end. There are people who like playing videogames at any age, others like going outdoors in the nature like me, others who like partying we are all different, but I have to stop caring about other people's opinion and in what category some people put me in because of my hobbies and interests.