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Because it is a competitive game.

You don’t get better by grinding. You get better through deliberate practice, which involves more than putting in hours.

I also practice a ton,by grinding I meant I try to get better and climb the ranks..I was mostly reffering to the mental part of things though,Because that miserable feeling of giving it all and just failing wihout winning for 4 months is quite exhausting

What does that mean "without winning"? What is it you are working on achieving or accomplishing?

If your self-esteem is at an acceptable level, as you indicate in your first post, then what is this miserable feeling that you are so concerned about? To someone with some mental/emotional resilience it would not matter to have that feeling because that feeling will pass.

You do not control the results. You are putting too much mental/emotional emphasis on the results, which results in your exhaustion. Lighten up.

Dumb question,but I don't see how I can lighten up..

There is a system of ranks I am trying to get at the end of.

Game

jasoNN9 wrote:Dumb question,but I don't see how I can lighten up..

jasoNN9 wrote:Game

If it's a game, are you not to have FUN with it? Do you know how to have fun?

Games are trivial. Putting so much life energy into a trivial matter is not a wise use of energy.

Are you a self-supporting individual?

I take it like really seriously,It's an esports so It's not just your average casual game.
And what do you mean by self supporting? That I pay the bills and that? If so,the answer is no,I am 17 so not yet certainly

jasoNN9 wrote:...It's an esports so It's not just your average casual game.

It's still a game. For fun.

Poker, chess, golf, paintball, tiddlywinks, esports are all games. For fun.

They can all be turned into highly competitive matches. They can all be turned into "not just your average casual game", but that is your personal choice to pursue a game as a highly competitive endeavor. The game, in and of itself, is just a game...for fun.

With esports....just like any other fun game, there are a handful of a handful of a handful that get to a point where they can turn a game into profit. This requires deliberate, strategic practice, not just grinding and putting in hours. In many cases...in fact in almost every case, it requires hiring a coach/trainer, it requires peer collaboration.

At 17, it is not uncommon to play video games hour after hour. It is not uncommon to get competitive, angry, and frustrated at not being able to move up in ranks. It is not uncommon to lose sight of the fact that it is a game, nothing more.

You have put in 2400 hours thus far. At 17, you are better off taking some time away from the game and start reflecting on what this game has taught you. Write down a list of benefits. Has the game taught you to better set goals, to deal with failure, to prioritize tasks? What abilities has the game helped you improve? Then ask yourself if you have gotten all you can out of this game and what other ways you might better use what you have learned from the game in pursuit of other, more meaningful goals in life.

If you just keep trying to grind, you are not going to reach the level you want without getting a coach/trainer, without strategic practice that involves more than just putting more hours.

jasoNN9 wrote:And what do you mean by self supporting? That I pay the bills and that? If so,the answer is no,I am 17 so not yet certainly

Yes, that is what I mean. Do you have plans to become self-supporting as soon as you become an adult?

Or, are you planning to sit in your room playing video games all night and sleeping all day in the room in which you "grew up," like a number of young adults seem to be doing?

(For my personal reference, I know of one 28 year old male doing exactly that, and another 28 year old male who was very close to that but is of late starting to come out of his shell.)

I plan on being self supporting,even though I don't see the commection..This toxic mentality of mine is something I wanna get rid of,I gave some context to make the issue more understandable

jasoNN9 wrote:I plan on being self supporting,even though I don't see the commection..This toxic mentality of mine is something I wanna get rid of,I gave some context to make the issue more understandable

The connection is that the overindulgence in electronic media, usually by way of video games, can lead to a life of being stuck sucking on the metaphorical nipple. What do your parents think of you spending all of this time in game-playing mode?

You rid yourself of the mentality by not being so hung up on playing videos and get out into the reality of life and make some connections with other people who can help you get yourself what many call a "real life" and to whom you can offer your services so that you can be a self-supporting individual living away from your parents. In what way do you plan to "make a living"?

I really recommend the book "The War of Art".
Also notice when you self sabotage. It seems like you are attached to an identity of "being a loser", the person who doesn't get results. You know how to be the person that copes but you have no bearings of how to act if you are the person that thrives. If you work hard and you work smart, results will come. You don't have to be cut from a different cloth or be special. Don't beat yourself up for not achieving things! Measure your success by the action you take, that is the only thing you are n control of.

if you try something and it does not work you have to learn the lesson;

i play bullet-chess sometimes for fun and the reason i cant rank any better is because i dont analyze my games, i dont learn from my games, i dont take notes, i just play

if i would try to rank better i would analyze the games, why did i lose the game and see if there is something i could do

however, i dont think is a good idea to take gaming seriously because there are extreme good players,