Hi,
So I have a weird, uncommon, and frankly nonsensical situation regarding my confidence. I am a 23 year old male who doesn't appear to be "not confidant" or with low self-esteem.
I am going to reveal some specific details of my life that I THOUGHT would give me confidence.
In high school, I was perceived as the most academically 'confident' person. I was good at debate, speeches, writing, math, and almost everything I committed myself too. Worked my donkey off and went to Harvard. My parents, friends, and other family members would always say "you are naturally smart" (when that is not the case, I just work hard). Since my dad is a lawyer, I decided to pursue law. I "repeated" high school all over again in college. Now I am a 2nd year Harvard law student.
Of course there were a lot of other trivial things that happened in college. I worked out a lot, went to a lot more parties, and tried to involve myself with the community such as volunteering.
I LOOK confident, SOUND confident but deep inside I am not. Whenever I go back to my apartment, my self-esteem just drops tremendously. It's almost like I am so good at FAKING my confidence.
Is what I have confidence or is this confidence that I am just good at superficially portraying in life? The ONLY reason I can think of that can cause this is not having a girlfriend, but I never bothered to look for one because I thought I should work on myself first. AND I DID. I have worked on myself physically, academically, and socially. Yet I feel like there is still something missing.
Should I get therapy? Despite all the things I have going for me, I lack confidence. The only problem is.....I can't pinpoint why I feel like this.
Thanks for reading such an absurd and stupid post. Don't expect to get much out of this and my friends will probably laugh at me if they knew I was on this forum, but I hope I get a good reply or two.
Thank you.