Your Thoughts, please?

**Posts:** 2 · by **johncole600** » Sun Jun 03, 2018 3:41 pm

Hello everyone! I am not sure if what I am feeling could be a sign of anxiety?
When I was a child, we experienced leaving our home because of my father who has anger problem.
And sometimes he destroys properties (on our home) and have grown that fear every time that he get mad, I always got nervous.

Even until I got married it is is still the same feeling I got. The problem is I cannot speak to him what I truly feel because I am afraid that he might got mad.

Could this be sign of anxiety? I cannot get rid of such feeling even at this age.

**Posts:** 82 · by **Anxious_mary_420** » Sun Jun 03, 2018 8:16 pm

Hi John, sounds to me like it's anxiety. It doesn't matter how old you are if you have grown up feeling scared around your dad it makes sense to me that you still are. You could try to talk to him face to face or maybe write everything you want to tell him down in a letter and hopefully after he reads it he will want to contact you to discuss it further. Are you still in contact with him, do you have a mum or siblings that can help ? Maybe speaking to a councillor will help you too. Good luck x

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Mon Jun 04, 2018 1:35 pm

johncole600 wrote:I cannot speak to him what I truly feel because I am afraid that he might got mad.

This isn't anxiety, it's common sense. Your father's anger is often out of control, and you know it.

If you were afraid to speak in front of all males older than yourself, it would be more of a problem. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

Bottom line: It's not anxiety, it's learning from history. And that's a good thing.

**Posts:** 87 · by **DrPsychFeels** » Mon Jun 04, 2018 5:53 pm

johncole600 wrote:Even until I got married it is is still the same feeling I got. The problem is I cannot speak to him what I truly feel because I am afraid that he might got mad.

Could this be sign of anxiety? I cannot get rid of such feeling even at this age.

What may have been common sense when you were a helpless child is anxiety now that you're an adult.

If the anxiety about your father generalized to all older men, then try going to a men's support group to first learn how to develop healthy relationships with older men. If your dad had a drinking problem too, then this story would qualify for Al-Anon.

**Posts:** 4 · by **Ocnctymom** » Mon Jul 16, 2018 2:07 am

I lived with a mother who screamed in my face and told me that I no good. When I had children I vowed to raise them differently. And I did. After many many years the thoughts of my experiences are haunting me. So yes it could be Anxiety. Seek professional help. Heaven help us all.

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