A cup of coffee and a sober mind. I never thought i would find such a present under my Christmas tree. Maybe the holiday spirit is alive? No?
2021 was supposed to be the most important year of my life. A big life-changing project launch was planned and desired... instead i decided to waste my savings on doing nothing and blowing 8-balls + drinking alcohol pretty much through the entire year. Sober mind was kind of expected and implemented in the business package and i couldn't find it anywhere around me, so maybe it was for the best not to jump into the deep? Who the **** knows...
"Am I an addict?" - the questions i asked myself under the shower just an hour earlier. Man i so f***ing hate that word 'addict'. I am not a f***ing addict, i am just a non-stop abuser. I would rather call myself that.
"Is this the rock bottom or i can find the under?" - another one.
"If alcohol and cocaine makes me miserable and unhappy, why can't i just stop?" - and another f***in riddle, jeez.
... and now i wonder myself, why do i even write this post? I really have no idea, all i know is that i am sober and it is kind of freaking me out. But i am not a coward, am i? Hm... maybe i give it a go, see where it leads me.
Good Luck and happy holidays.
Shower Thoughts
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by getemtiger » Wed Dec 29, 2021 12:28 pm
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by Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Dec 29, 2021 3:15 pm
The shower, where some of the best thinking happens.
It does sound like, in your own words, that you are acting cowardly. What I mean is that you established a big life changing project and then you avoided it. It is self-handicapping behavior.
The reasons we avoid and how we choose to avoid vary. For instance, I often use this very forum as a way to avoid working towards goals I’ve established. I use time writing responses that could be better used elsewhere. I know that isn’t using drugs to avoid or escape, but the underlying mechanism is similar.
What I’ve found helpful is to reassess, breaking a big life changing project, into a more manageable “next project”. It helps me to address my inner coward, giving me a goal post I’m more likely to hit.
It does sound like, in your own words, that you are acting cowardly. What I mean is that you established a big life changing project and then you avoided it. It is self-handicapping behavior.
The reasons we avoid and how we choose to avoid vary. For instance, I often use this very forum as a way to avoid working towards goals I’ve established. I use time writing responses that could be better used elsewhere. I know that isn’t using drugs to avoid or escape, but the underlying mechanism is similar.
What I’ve found helpful is to reassess, breaking a big life changing project, into a more manageable “next project”. It helps me to address my inner coward, giving me a goal post I’m more likely to hit.
- Richard@DecisionSkills
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2 posts
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