Intense derealization and anxiety about death

**Posts:** 1 · by **helpmeiampyscho** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:18 pm

Hi, I am a 17 yr old female who, for the past 6 months, has suffered intense derealization and anxiety about death that was caused by a panic attack.

Here is some background on me and the situation:
When I was 10, I was diagnosed with OCD. I was never put on any medication as therapy really helped me. Flash forward 5 years later when I was 15, and I began to have obsessive thoughts about anything and everything. It continually got worse but I never did anything about it because I had experienced much worse. On Thanksgiving day of 2016, I was about to go to bed when I had this awful thought about death. I all of a sudden realized that when I died, I wouldn't live in the world that I live in right now. I would be nothing. I grew up in a non religious family so I didn't have any perspective on the subject. I absolutely freaked out, and passed out on my bedroom floor. My mom walked in after she heard a thud. She freaked out obviously. Up until that point in my life, I had never had a panic attack before.
Anyway, I haven't felt the same since that day. Nothing feels real around me. My head is stuffed full cotton and I get thes awful migraines that I never had before. Nothing seems to relieve this feeling. I get caught in a thought loop and freak out about having another panic attack again. I have been seeing a therapist and it hasn't really helped. I went to the doctor and was first perscribed Wellbutrin but that just made me worse. I have just been perscribed Prozac. I just want to cry all the time and don't care/feel anything anymore. I can't seem to relax and feel really depressed. I am a fitness freak and working out doesn't seem to help. My dad is Irish and Catholic (but never pressed it on me or my mom and never went to Church when I was growing up) so I am meeting some people from his Church to maybe help with this issue. Do you think this will help?

At this point I am wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar and what they did to help rid the feeling. I am also wondering if anyone has any suggestions for this.

Thank you so so so much!! I feel crazy and really need some perspective on the problem!!

**Posts:** 2 · by **PressABToStart** » Sun Jun 11, 2017 5:07 am

I've never dealt with anxiety disorders or panic attacks, but I can attempt to comfort you on your fear of death. Have you ever heard of the many worlds theory? In the many worlds theory, it is thought that anytime there are two possible outcomes, then both outcomes occur, and the universe branches off into two possible worlds. Let's say you are petting a kitten for example. In one reality you pet its head, and in another you pet it's body. Both of these realities happened. I'm sure your wondering where death comes in, so I'll get to that now. If you die you are no longer conscious right? In many worlds theory, there is a reality where you die, and a reality where you don't, and since you have to remain conscious in order to experience reality, you will never live in the reality where you die! In other words you don't have to fear death because you will always live the reality where you are conscious and alive. If you think about it, many worlds theory is just as logical as any religion. I sincerely hope this helps you not fear death, and I wish the best for you.

Also, I'm new to this website, so I hope I'm posting this right.

**Posts:** 1 · by **Briwill98** » Sat Dec 09, 2017 8:31 am

Hi , I went through that same thing when I first took it when I was 18 and in college . I was really stressed and one day it came out of nowhere suddenly I was just sad not depressed sad but I wasn’t myself and things got worse overtime and I would think about death constantly I got freaked out and stopped taking it. I’m now and I’m back on it again because I decided to try it again , everything was fine until last week I would constantly think about death and the thought I could just die and I’ll stop existing and go into nothing and it’s just scary and I’m scared to go places because I’m afraid something bad might and I’m scared of my family dying and especially my mom , she went out night but she was gone for a long and I got really panicky and started crying but she made it home safe . It has to be the wellburtribin because my uncle who I was like a father to me died in July and I never had these thoughts. Sure I thought that’s kind of scary and you never know when it’s going to happen. I didn’t obsess over fear of death and I wasn’t on Wellbutrin

**Posts:** 3 · by **Ebowman83** » Sun Dec 10, 2017 2:22 am

Hi, I know exactly what your going throu it’s the exact same for me I refer to mine as a demon, just the other day I was trying to tell people about this and I felt like there didn’t hear the warning I was giving them, people who don’t go throu this I’m not saying you don’t understand but sometimes they need to not just give us the answer the need to hold our hand until we are better because this anxiety sh** takes over and would let us go on to get help, I’m scared that I may do something to myself when I’m alone when I have my thoughts to myself I feel empty like I can’t grasp a real happy time in my life I lose my mother and aunt and I suffer with migraines when I wake up and even before I go to sleep. Which I did when I was also 5 years of age suffering with symptoms. Please stay strong as you can because some of us can’t.

**Posts:** 1 · by **Jonro** » Thu May 24, 2018 11:42 am

I've been battling panic attacks due to fear of death since my early 20's. When my Christian wife and I first started dating about 2 years ago I was an atheist. I was also struggling with drug addiction. She told me that God talked to her sometimes and I thought she was crazy, I didn't like for her to even talk about that because it made me uncomfortable. She had been praying that God would bless us because I was an unbeliever and one night she gets excited and says he said "It is done",of course I thought she was nuts. Over the next few weeks God started revealing himself to me. At first I didn't know what was going on but I knew it couldn't be explained, supernatural things was happening. Then one night during a thunderstorm evil shows up in our room. I could feel it moving around the room, i was so scared I couldn't even move. There was messages coming on the tablet screen, one said "Aren't you even gonna try", one said "You're going to hell", I was holding my stomach in the fetal position and an image comes on the screen of a person holding their stomach. About daylight it appeared to be gone so I get up and grab my phone. Electricity arcs from it to my fingertip, up my arm, into my head. I then hear demonic sounding talking and then at that moment the tablet gets a notification, I look at it and it reads "YOU SEE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO SEE". I tried to pretend like I it didn't happen because It scared me so bad. Then I started having the worst nightmares you could imagine. After the third one I said I couldn't deny it anymore and I got saved and then baptized a few weeks later. Heaven and Hell is very real, take it from the biggest atheist there was. All you have to do is give your life to Jesus and you have nothing to worry about when you die, in fact you will live FOREVER in heaven with God. God bless!

**Posts:** 87 · by **DrPsychFeels** » Thu May 31, 2018 9:26 pm

helpmeiampyscho wrote:I am meeting some people from his Church to maybe help with this issue. Do you think this will help?

Going to church will help if for no other reason than building associations decreases anxiety (even if you're not talking about the anxiety or actively trying to get better).

If the medication your on isn't working, ask for other kinds of medication.

And tell your therapist you want to go to a group for anxiety or panic disorder. What will help you the most with panic is affect regulation, which group is better at managing.

I feel crazy and really need some perspective on the problem!!

You're not crazy. You're a teenage female, biologically predisposed to be the most anxious demographic. As you mature over the next few years these symptoms will work themselves out with proper treatment.

**Posts:** 1 · by **thomasmichel75** » Sat Oct 05, 2019 9:07 pm

Hi, I know this post is old now but i'm going through something very similar right now and I was wondering how you where and if you found anything to make it better. Anything is appreciated.

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