I feel so stupid, 7th month mark check

Hi,

so happy I found this forum today!

It's been ~7 months since I stopped smoking and had two weeks no sleep which ended to panic attack. Before I had been using it occasionally about 10y and soon I was in the situation I didn't want to be - putting myself to sleep by smoking.. I think I f***ed up my REM-sleep pattern with one joint per night before sleep. This behavior lasted about 3 years.

The typical weed withdrawal symptoms ended in one month but my main problem has been insomnia. At the 5th month I started to feel a bit better and more stronger cuz of meditation and excercise and I even managed to abandon my sleep meds. I still felt shitty even tho I got 4-5h sleep per night. Then I decided what could 1-2 toke do to me, I didn't want to waste the whole summer and stuff, eh. After that I've had zero sleep and I just wish I have found this site earlier. After the toke I knew it instantly that I was unable to sleep again. It felt like my subconcius activated something in my brain in a wrong way. I am now struggling and trying not to get benzo addiction too, huh. These stories give me strength and the good news is that I can work remotely to the end of the year.