jimmyh wrote:Could be one of those. Those things happen.
However it's interesting that you had to qualify "nontrivial" and "constructive". Does that mean that if the real reason is 3) she never did like you and just gave you a number to get you to go away, then you don't see room for anything more to be learned and it seems impossible to do something to improve your odds here?
Because to me that one seems *furthest* from trivial and allowing for the most construction.
Yeah, true, but IMHO 3) is too vague to be useful in itself, I need to be more specific than that, "like me" is good but how to achieve that exactly ? What does liking mean exactly ? One "symptom" of she liking me is she meeting me again. "Liking" does correlate with "meeting again". If I can optimize for "meeting again" somehow, in a more specific, targeted way, then that is a more specific, clear goal towards making her like me.
Also, the problem is that I don't really have opportunity/time to really make her like me (enough) when I meet her for the first time, so I would rather optimize for seeing her again, one on one, where I have more time to make her like me / getting to know eachother, build trust etc.
Some ideas that I have about how to make her want to meet me again:
1) Somehow connecting in her mind the idea of "meeting again" with the current feeling of joy/curiosity. Every time when I trigger a feeling of attraction/liking I could - somehow - link that feeling to the idea of "meeting again" , without it feeling forced.
2) Reminding her of a first date with someone special.
3) Using a cue, something that makes her think about me a lot when I am gone. Maybe a story about Apple, the phone she has, iPhone, linking her phone to me / meeting me again. So every time she looks at her phone ...
4) Somehow making her feel good about herself when she thinks about the idea of "meeting again" - compliments, associated to "meeting again" ?
I really don't know how to go about this. Never done this before, just trying to be a little bit creative. Got inspired by Erickson books. Hypnosis seems to be the art of installing ideas, without resistance, I think I could get inspiration from hypnosis on how to install the idea of "meeting again".
The situation usually is not a definite no, but also not a definite yes. I am not super attractive but also not super repulsive. I am pretty average. I try to push the odds towards my favour. There are lots of situations which are not clear YES/NO, in those, perhaps communication can push the odds into one way or the other.
For example, last week I went into a make-up store and had a chat with a girl for 50 mins, who was there looking for "nothing", like when I am bored I go to check out the new laptops. We chatted a while on facebook on the following few days but then the thing died away. I think some good communication there could have made a difference.