Hey,
I'm Matt and 23 years old. My biggest problem is my insecurity. Since I was a kid I was being compared to others. I was never the popular guy although I had some friends. They may not have been the best friends but at least I had them. I was always the weakest one, the one people made fun of the most and they least successful with girls. I moved to America at the age of 16 and I was struggling with the language barrier. When I finally learned English, I made some friends. I went to parties and made even more friends. My self esteem still sucked. I hooked up with some girls but only because alcohol gave me courage and that drunk confidence. That was only a temporary fix for me. I've had one girlfriend for 3 months and then she broke up with me because she "lost feelings" but I know it was my fault because I was needy and wanted her attention all the time. It took me about 2 years to get over her and it only lasted 3 months. That was when I was 20. Now I'm 23 and still single. I know some girls are attracted to me but I'm not attracted to them (don't think I'm picky, these girls just don't take care of themselves). I think I take good care of myself. I shower everyday, I get a nice haircut every once in a while, I shave my face, I trim my eyebrows, I work out 4-5 days a week. I have a job that I like. Although I do these things, I still feel unattractive, I keep comparing myself to others. I'm only 5'8" which is pretty short for a man. I hang out with guys that are tall and good looking and that makes me feel like a complete loser because I see them with pretty girls and bragging how many girls they slept with. I lost my virginity at the age of 21, and so far that's the only time I had sex. I don't want to be some kind of player, but I wanna find a girl and keep her. When I was with my ex I could not focus on anything because I kept thinking that she's out there talking to other guys/cheating. I was not happy in that relationship because of my insecurities. My close friends know about my problem and they're trying to help me but they don't understand how hard I'm trying to get over it. I even bought some e-books and audio-books that would help me get rid of my insecurities and low self esteem but I only spent money and got nothing out of it. I have no more ideas what to do. I don't know where to start and I don't even know if it's possible to fix my self-esteem. I can't imagine being married and everyday thinking if my wife is cheating on me. If you guys were in my situation and know someone that successfully got rid of their insecurities please tell me how they did it because I've been stuck in the same place for years and I don't what else to try. Every advice will be appreciated! If there is a similar topic I apologize but I just wanted you to look at this post because not everyone has same symptoms and some things may work on other bu not me and the other way around. Thank you!