HI, it’s been already 18 months since I left my weed consumption. I apologize about my english. It’s been a lot of time since I don’t use it and it is a bit rusty.
Well, I did want to write down something about my actual condition but I’ve never decided to do it.
I used to grow weed and that meant that I had as much weed to take as I did want. So It was a risky way to become an adict and that was. I was a heavy smoker for 12 years and I started when I was 21.
I was a quite good guy with a very active social activity. But, since I got 28 approx. I began to isolate myself more and more till I started to becoming an antisocial person. I didn’t want to see anyone till the point to be almost completely isolated. I hardly got out from home unless to go to work twice a week. I worked at a pub on weekends. BUT, even on that circunstances, I felt to be happy about myself. I enjoyed a lot with my solitude and then I decied It was the time to leave mj.
I have to say weed helped me a lot during a very chaotic process that I passed through that I would say it was a existential crisis. I refused to take any benzos or ansiolitics, so in that case, I found on weed a warm friend to deal with that. It lasted about 2 years.
When I decied to leave weed, now 1’5 years, I passed through all the symptoms heavt users use to tell. Imsomnia, nightmares, swing mood, lonliness, etc. The first year was awful dealing with all I described. But well, now I’m feeling better but I still pass through cyclical PAWS that leaves me knockout during 1 or 2 weeks. When It happens I just want to stay in my room quiet but with recurring thoughts of death or suicide. And yes, you’ll say that when it happen you’ll recommend me to get out and stay with some Friends, etc. But, at least for me, staying at home chillin is the best when PAWS comes to visit me.
I don’t smoke tobacco, nor coffee, no sodas; I eat properly vegetables, fruits and good food. Not sugar or junk food. I do trekking. I work in a pub on weekends (and yes, I’m also make new Friends but only during weekends).
When I’m on under PAWS sometimes I take a beer or a glass of wine (one glass, 2 max.). I’m not undercovering withdrawal with any other drug.
And even with all I described I still suffer PAWS and sometimes is hopelessnees.. So, that’s why I was thinking using cbd oil (0% THC) maybe could helps to deal with PAWS.
First of all, thank you all very much. Without this forum, I couldn’t be here after one year and half clean.