by Candid » Sun May 19, 2019 11:45 am
I've worked in women's services for about 25 years, started off counselling women in domestic violence situations, then moved to sexual assault. Naturally the two fields cross over.
I'm not in law enforcement but often I accompanied women to the Magistrates Court for the hearing of applications for restraining orders -- because the violent partner had to be there to hear the verdict. When it came to sexual violence I had an office in the police station. My referrals came from the police, so I saw only those clients who had reported recent rape and intended to go to court. Most reports are immediately dismissed because the only evidence is the victim's testimony. Sad but true. These are the people (mostly female, but a surprising number of males) who show up in counsellor's offices.
I am not a psychologist. I qualified as a counsellor/therapist in the late 90s although I originally trained as a journalist. Therefore I've had a mixed career and have moved around a lot doing what feels right at the time. My last gig in a newspaper office was eight years ago.
These days I'm a volunteer in a national sexual assault agency. You might say I'm burned out, due to a number of factors. I work when I want to work, chiefly inputting data about sexual assaults whether recent or historic. Clients are referred because they're distressed by something that's happened to them. There are separate counsellors for children (under 7), young people (under 18), and adults. Sometimes it's a one-off, for others there were regular assaults over a period of years. The assaults are categorised: rape, assault with penetration, other sexual assault. I no longer have any contact with perpetrators.
It's interesting to me what's classified as sexual assault and what isn't. In my earlier years men have exposed themselves to me in public places, grabbed my breasts, rubbed up against me in crowded public transport, and other stuff I consider minor and which I assume happens to most women. I see these come in as "other sexual assault". Some cases are more disturbing than others. Some people's histories are frankly horrific.
So that's me, and candidly it has no relevance to you. You have not coerced anyone into unwanted sexual activity and more to the point, you haven't said that any one of these three girls has shown the least distress about what happened back there. Perhaps you believe males are always the aggressors and women have no sexual desire, because what you describe sounds like harmless fun in which the girls were as aroused as you were. Your persistence on this thread strongly suggests a form of OCD for which you should see a counsellor.
