Anger & Depression

**Posts:** 2 · by **Sunshine & clouds** » Fri May 20, 2005 9:21 am

Where do I start?
I have just spent the last 2 days fighting for my job after being threatened with the sack for not 'fitting in'. My work is not a problem - 100% all round but I have had problems reconcilling with a new member of staff who, although her method of working is somewhat alien to me, really didn't need to experience animosity from me. 'Unapproachable' was a word used to describe me.

I can be moody and am not very good at hiding my true feelings which often gets me into trouble. I just seem to have problems being chirpy and pleasant or at least 'playing the game' as, it seems, most people are able to do.

I saved my job by the skin of my teeth (and lost a lot of self-respect in the process) and I now need to be cheerful and approachable at all times in order to keep my job - this terrifies me as I'm aware I will be constantly monitored and I can't afford to slip up. Don't get me wrong, this is not the job of my dreams but I can't afford to lose it until I've found a new one, which I'm concentrating on as much as possible.

The offshoot of this is that I now feel disappointed, depressed and guilty and the latter is simply further compounded by other small occurances: feeling irritated and being slightly sarcastic because a woman with twins asked me to move on the bus this morning - things like this just make me hate myself - nice people don't think like this, do they?

**Posts:** 2522 · by **kfedouloff** » Sun May 22, 2005 7:50 am

Hi Sunshine

Of course, showing your true feelings could also be regarded as an asset, because it demonstrates the quality of honesty! However, as the poet (can't remember which one it was at the moment) says, human beings can't take too much reality (aka honesty), so you need to be careful how you dish it out.

Here's a question for you. You've been pressured to change how you relate to others at work. If you suppose the situation was reversed, and others were pressured to change how they relate to you, what would they be asked to do to relate better to someone who was moody and who tended to show their undisguised feelings?

Kathleen

**Posts:** 2 · by **Sunshine & clouds** » Wed May 25, 2005 10:37 am

Thank you for taking the time to reply..

Your question certainly made me think and I understand what you're getting at, correct me if I'm wrong: if everyone responded to each other as I do at times, how would that make me feel?

In short, the answer to that would be: I wouldn't appreciate it at all! I would even go so far as to say that it would probably make me quite angry! I must sound like a spoilt little brat (and believe me I'm not)! I've been brought up to respect others and 'do as I would be done by' and, clearly, I've lost this along the way.

I'd like to take this opportunity to Thank you for bringing a very simple point to the fore - it really has made me think about my actions and reactions and I hope it will help me whenever I feel I may be dipping into that old attitude.

Jo

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