Marijuana Withdrawals - My Experience, 2 Months Later

Hey everybody,

I have hesitated to post my marijuana withdrawal experience since the day it started; however, I feel now is a wise time to do it. Before I start, I wanted to thank all of those who have posted on this forum. There are too many usernames to list through. All of these posts have helped calm me down during endless nights of insomnia and heart racing anxiety filled days. I hope that my experience can provide the same comfort and hope for others going down this path. As unique as my experience is, I hope that others can relate.

Background: I have smoked marijuana for approximately 4 years, on and off. I suffer from ulcerative colitis which is a form of IBS/IBD that affects the lower part of the large intestine. Marijuana provided me the relief I needed during hard times. Unfortunately, over the past year (July 2015 – April 2016), I began to smoke every day, not for relief, but because I was addicted. This ranged from smoking through a vaporizer, to joints and bowls. I began to notice that anytime I was not working or lifting weights in the gym, I was high. Life became stale and revolved around when I would get to smoke next. I was smoking approximately 2g’s per week, which may not seem like a lot.

As a side note, I have had one major panic attack in my life which was not associated with marijuana. I have had moments of anxiety when I would get very high, but I would tell myself that my high was at its ‘peak’ and that it would go away shortly. Sure enough, this held true and it went away.

Onto the withdrawals …

In March of 2016, I realized that I needed to tone down my marijuana habits. Having quit cold turkey in the past before with no effect, I figured this would be no different. The following week was filled with odd moments of anxiety and feelings of claustrophobia (new to me), but nothing major or concerning. I thought nothing of it and continued on. I took a mini vacation to visit some family in the southern USA which was not pleasant. I boarded my flight only to be met with feelings of anxiety and the precursor to a panic attack while on my flight. I managed to control the symptoms until we landed at my destination. I was baffled. This left a dent on my love of flying which still affects me today. That weekend, I felt oddly anxious with no explanation and I began to question if this was the result of quitting. I immediately disregarded that and convinced myself that it was harmless. On my flight back home, I was met with anxiety throughout my whole flight trying to fight back panic. I felt trapped but did what I could until we landed once again. I was baffled at this point. That night, I relapsed and smoked again. Withdrawals weren’t real, I thought. It’s all in my head.

The following two weeks, I had smoked on and off for a total of about 4-5 days with minor symptoms. The last time I smoked was April 10th, which was met with a severely anxious session. I took one hit of a joint and the anxiety would not go away this time. I immediately told myself that it was time to stop for good. No turning back.

The week that followed was terrible. I was anxious doing almost anything, thinking I would have a panic attack at any moment. I had to walk out of work a few times and sit outside because I was anxious for no reason. At this point, I began to question if it really was withdrawals. I brushed it off once more and assumed that I was anxious about an upcoming flight. The anxiety gradually faded until the day of my flight. I had no appetite and severe anxiety. I boarded my flight, flew down south and all my feelings went away. Once again, I brushed off withdrawals being the cause. The following day, everything changed …

I was making a drive from Atlanta, GA to New York City (17hrs with traffic) to help a family member move. Upon awaking at 3am, I immediately began to shake uncontrollably. I tried to take down my breakfast, but I couldn’t finish it. I felt nauseous. We loaded up the truck and hit the road. The whole time, I was severely anxious, shaking, sweating at times. I felt very faint and had no appetite. I was confused, worried and scared. Upon arrival at our hotel on Long Island, NY, my symptoms went away and I was able to eat. I went to bed concerned that night, but I had no trouble sleeping.

Within 5 minutes of waking, the withdrawals hit me like a train. I was shaking. My heart was racing. I was sweating. I had no appetite, but I was starving. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack at any moment. I felt severely depressed and I wanted to break down and cry. All of this, not at home, in comfort. I couldn't sleep due to my racing heart and racing thoughts. I was so anxious; I could barely leave the hotel in fear of panic. I felt agoraphobic. Every step I took outside, I debated running back to my hotel room and crawling into bed. For the next three days, these symptoms stuck around. This is when I began to do some research and came across the reality that is marijuana withdrawals. I had to cancel my flight and drive back home (10 hrs) which was agonizing in itself. I felt defeated and saw no end in sight.

At this point, I was convinced I was going through severe withdrawals. Over the next 2 months, I experienced waves of severe anxiety, severe depression, random loss of appetite, debilitating fear of leaving the house, severe insomnia, vivid dreams, vertigo and dizziness, headaches and DR/DP. Everything almost seemed fake, foggy, and dreamlike. Something as simple as going to the gym made me near panic. I would have to stop between repetitions and breathe deeply out of fear of a panic attack. I consulted a family friend that is a physician and explained my situation. He immediately agreed that this was withdrawals and the worst happens within the 4-6 week period. He prescribed me a low dose (0.25mg) Xanax and 2mg Valium to use as needed, but warned about their addictive properties. Thankfully, I have only used the Xanax once, 7 weeks ago. I have not touched a benzo since.

As time went on, my symptoms began to lessen. I would have days of severe anxiety with no other symptoms. Then I would have days where I would shake uncontrollably, no appetite with depression, but no anxiety. My sleep patterns have been all over. Some nights, I would sleep for 8 hours. Others, I would wake 4-5 times, tossing and turning, having the same repeated dreams over and over. My heart would race and I would turn to forums like this one for comfort. This leads me to the present day.

I am gradually beginning to have interest in things again. I avoided socializing during this process; however, my job requires me to travel for work primarily by car, so I fought through the anxiety to the best of my ability. I can safely say that most of that is now gone. I still have some minor fear of boarding a flight due to my past experiences, but I am convincing myself that it was due to the withdrawals and my body is recovering. I feel as if this experience has left a permanent mark on my brain and thought process. Every time I imagine doing something new, the first thought that comes to mind is me having a panic attack in that situation; however, I do my best to think positive thoughts and proceed to do it anyways, anxiety free. It’s as if I’m retraining my brain not to be afraid or anxious of everything.

I have been supplementing with 5-HTP (100mg), Fish Oils (1200mg) and a multivitamin daily. I plan on stopping the 5-HTP today. I am exercising daily and hope for better days.

I feel that I can go into plenty more detail about the withdrawals themselves; however, I don’t want to have a wall of text as that can be daunting to read sometimes. If anyone can relate, please share. I still have moments where I doubt if I’ll ever recover, even though things have gotten better. The anxiety still lingers at random times and while I understand that PAWS is likely jumping in, it’s hard to convince myself of that.

I hope my ongoing experience can provide comfort to others. For all those in this journey or just beginning, be as patient as you can. Things will get better! This will pass and know, you’re definitely not alone! Feel free to PM me if you would like.

Thanks.