I dont know how to word this , but it's become enough of a 'thing' that I want to sort it out to see if I'm not the only one that has experienced this
Several family members, over time have all started an argument claiming to be hurt emotionally because myself or others didnt consider 'what if' emergencys
in one case, the person went to the hospital for a check up. they were concerned there could have been something serious going on but it was an ordinary check up which was discovered nothing was wrong. after the fact we all busy with our lives touched bases to be sure everything was ok. the response was a guilt trip that no one reached out prior to the visit out of concern of 'what if it was serious and we werent there for them'? and the drama show went forth
recently another family member made arrangements to have furniture delivered all on her own. one sunday afternoon she calls and asks someone in our house to come over to just 'be there in case the deliverers are criminals or something'. we said it was too last min but if they could reschedule it for another day , if that was a real concern, we could help out. they flipped out on the phone using that as proof that no one cares for them, shows how selfish we are and completely went off on the deepend with accusations of how careless we are - based on a threat that didnt really exist.
finally i had another cousin who really got under my skin. i literally had surgery and was on bed rest. i was home with a few people calling me to check on me. he called me up asking me , while i was on bed rest, how i was doing. the response is normal - im doing fine thanks for asking. when i asked him he said he was feeling sick. i said take care and two days later he called me up to guilt trip me about how much i didnt care about him because in the course of 48 hours i never once called him to check on him due to his announcement that 'he felt sick'. i told him feeling sick is different than actually being sick and in my condition of being on bed rest i dont think i should have to police up situations like that.
in the three examples, are they being manipulative or weaponizing guilt to continue a relationship of some sort? i cant define it but it gets on my nerves. what is going on here?