Darkness crawling in...

**Posts:** 8 · by **Okikey** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:13 pm

Hey i will just go on
Since i was young (age around 7-9) i was the boy that everybody makes jokes of him everybody laughed at me cause i seem dumb i lack social skills... i accepted that and worked on it unconciously till i formed my own personality and become a better sociable persson then i relapsed it was like this since my childhood after that i only faced failur in my life... one after another i was... i don't know what was happening then i've become suicidel like for real i attempted to kill my self twice without success (i tried to cut my veins and eat a hollot of medicins... both time my body reacted and saved me)
So after that i tried to recover but i was always that boy howm everybody make fun of him..even my familly... and know after the girl i loved left me for a really dumb reason i see only darkness i use drugs just to escape my worthless felthy life and know as my pain and ageny grows stronger nothing can make me forget it i sens the pain in every each part of my body i've become like a zombie without brain i do thing like for nothing i'm always siting in my room all the summer i didn't go out like even one day... i feel i'm gonna attempt another suicide...cause i don't have any goal in my life i don't sens or see one... i don't know how to be sociable... i don't feel conftable in my skin i realy hate my self ! Please can anybody help me ? I really need that help to save my life a have little glimer of hope in anyone to help me...

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:41 pm

Okikey wrote:...cause i seem dumb

Because someone laughs or calls you a name, does it make it true?

i don't have any goal in my life i don't sens or see one...

Sure you do. You would not have posted in here if you didn't have any goals. At a minimum you have a goal to feel better about yourself.

**Posts:** 8 · by **Okikey** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:49 pm

Thank you Richard
But yeah i feel that i'm dumb i don't have the same way of thinking with my siblings i feel like i'm inferior to them and if we're in a argue i always loose like always... and till know some people keep on moking me for things i've done in the past...
and about the goal i wanna be better but i need help i know it's kinda goal but my life is meaningless like for real ! My life means nothing to my i can quit it like nothing...

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:57 pm

Okikey wrote:But yeah i feel that i'm dumb

Because someone calls you dumb?

**Posts:** 8 · by **Okikey** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 4:59 pm

Yeah and the way i see my self doing things..

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:07 pm

Okikey wrote:Yeah

You believe others calling you dumb makes it true?

**Posts:** 8 · by **Okikey** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:07 pm

Yeah kind of

**Posts:** 8 · by **Okikey** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:08 pm

I lack confidence... i don't know really

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:31 pm

Okikey wrote:Yeah kind of

If I were in your position, this is where I would start. Whatever another person calls you, whatever label, it doesn't necessarily make it true. This holds especially true for subjective labels like "dumb".

The first goal I would set is to get out of the house/apartment each day and go to a park to read for an hour. Read "As a man thinketh". Don't read fantasy/drama, don't read self-help crap. You don't need to tell anyone what you are reading, where you are going, what you are doing or why. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone, you don't need to prove yourself.

30 days, see how the above goal is working.

**Posts:** 8 · by **Okikey** » Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:06 pm

Thank you so much i'll put a goal to go out and read that book
And about self cofidance how to boost it ?

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Sat Aug 19, 2017 3:14 am

Okikey wrote:And about self cofidance how to boost it ?

You build it, same way you build a house or a bridge or anything else, one brick at a time.

A brick is a small step. In education it is called scaffolding, in psychology a popular technique is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), but these are jargon for getting slightly out of your comfort zone, pushing yourself to take small steps. You prove to yourself little things you can accomplish, like going to the park, and then you take on a slightly bigger challenge, adding another brick to your building.

Always and with each stage, it is never, NEVER, about proving anything to anyone else. It is all about enjoying little challenges and proving to yourself what you can accomplish.

**Posts:** 8 · by **Okikey** » Sun Aug 20, 2017 12:41 pm

Thank you so much

**Posts:** 8 · by **Okikey** » Tue Aug 22, 2017 12:59 am

Richard thank you so much only tow days and i can feel a little bit of changing god ! Thnk you so much !!

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