Ok so today has been a little rough for me. This is going to be super long but here goes. Let me tell you all a little about myself. I was raised in a Christian environment and go to church almost every Sunday. Im the oldest child and I'm 14 and need some advice or help in what to do with my life. My life sounds pretty good and I feel that it is but some things just really overwhelm me. I'm a freshman in high school and I ranked in nationals for wrestling. I really love my parents for taking me and paying for all of the events but there has been some trouble.
So a little about my brother. He is the next youngest after me. Let's just say he's a wild card. He always does half assed jobs, he is so lazy, a little chubby, and just does what typical 12 year old does. But there is something special about him. I honestly can't tell you a lot because I am not him but here's what I think. All the time he acts like he is bugger and better then EVERY ONE. He makes me so mad. And when you bet into argument with him. He doesn't ever shut his mouth after it's over. He does stupid little things that make me angry. Sometime I think to myself "I wish he was never born, or I wish he would be with another family".
Next is my dad. He grew up in a great child hood. My grandparents are great and that's why my dad turned out so successful in life. He married a beautiful women(my mom), owns his own successful business and is a hard worker. But there is one thing about him. He has anger issues. He's constantly yelling at us when he gets home from work. Calls us names such as (brats, pricks, asses, ect ect). And honestly I've had it up to my hairs. He's always yelling, saying that we are disrespecting him and that we are no help to this family. And kne thing I just don't get. He claims that he is Christian, and I know my mom is but he doesn't act like it ever. And it makes me sad.
I lay in my bed crying most nights thinking of how I can make him happy or make my family's life better. So this happened tonight. He got home yelling at us because my brother trashed the upstairs with his candy rappers and bottles. He's so lazy. That he pisses in water bottles. Anyway he made me and him clean it up. So I asked him why I had to help him and he just said because I'm the boss of you. So we end up going up there and cleaned it while tye whole time my brother just griped and said that all of his mess was my fault?! After it's done he starts giving me a long donkey lecture about how I disrespect him, even in the tone of my voice. So I just left the room and started talking to my mom about jonas and how cleaning went and my dad came barging into the room and said I was disrespecting his wife with my tone of voice. And then my mom said that I wasn't and so he walked away all pissed bc I was right.
I walk into he kitchen to go outside and told me to wait. So I waited and he asked me why I couldn't just clean clean upstairs room with out forcing my brother to help and so I told him it was because I made 0% of the mess and he threw the hard boiled egg that he was currently eating at the counter out of anger. That's when I had it. So I went outside until we left for our family friends house. Once we get there he acts so nice and friendly, like literally nothing just happened. That's what makes me the most mad, it's that he can change his attitude so easily but when he's around just us it's it's complete opposite. Once we get home I had been waiting to play online with my friend but jonas rushes upstairs to our gaming room to steal the Xbox before me while I'm using the bathroom. So I kick him off of it and he keeps stealing thing like the power cord and my phone and xbox controller. And so of course since I am a lot stronger than him and literally ranked in nationals I take it all back. I have no idea how he is not scared of me or anything. He just does not stop.
So he eventually went away and played his iPad but then when my dad told him it was time to go to bed came up there and started yelling at me to get off. I said dad didn't tell me to so I'm not moving. That when he went to the basement and turned off the power to the upstairs. I came down turned the power back on and went to him to call him a name or something.at the time he was filling his water bottle and so I stole it from him and ran outside. I threw it into the yard and watched him find it after I toyed with him a bit. Like I see how I am kind of a jerk but I don't feel like there is any other way around him. I've tried being nice to him before and multiple other things but nothing seems to work.
My dad and mom were already in there bed getting ready to sleep when they heard me and him arguing. He called us up to there room and asked us what happened I told him what had happened and then threatened to ground us and beat us with a belt and smsh the Xbox. And then went on to tell us how we were acting like two year Olds. And after the conversation I said "I have something to say" then he said "what" with a stern voice. I said " im going to say this as respectfully as possible but you have no right to call us a 2 year old". And he asked me why. I said "bc just earlier you were doing the same exact things, likewhen you threw that egg earlier". He said to mom, " somebody is going to die tonight. And then he brought up how mybrkther and I were "fighting" and then he said "would u rather me smack u in the face or throw that egg" I didnt reply. He went on to how he is an adult and can do those things but then I pitched in and said but your are the example of the family. Then he said "damn right". Idk what he meant by that bc his example honestly I feel is not good in any way. Eventually he yelled at me and my brother to go to bed and that's where I am now.
Guys I really need help with what to do with my relationship with him. It makes me sad and mad at the same time. Like I think that I want to punch him. And me and my dad have had actual fist fights in the past and I have ran away for a week before but I don't want that to happen again. What do I do? If you read this all thank you so much. This took me a long time.