undia wrote: I cant ignore my feelings.
Uh...yes you can. Why not?
Let me rephrase...we manage our feelings, we do not necessarily ignore them, but effectively we do all the time. When you get to the very edge of a cliff, toes on the edge, you feel a sense of fear, a little bit of adrenaline courses through your body. Does that mean you never go near a cliff again? No. You manage the fear and maintain awareness that you are not going over the cliff.
We manage our feelings on a regular basis, making determinations, evaluating IF we are in some sort of real danger, determining the risks, determining if we might get hurt. What are you going to do? Tell the cliff you feel afraid? No. A cliff doesn't care about your feelings. Now another person is involved and suddenly we think this other person needs to be involved with our feelings. Really? Why?
You are more than capable of managing your feelings when it comes to the inanimate, e.g. a cliff, a test at school, a movie you watched, yet believe yourself incapable of managing your feelings with another person?
This girl doesn't need to be involved in your drama. Leave her out of it. You are more than capable of distinguishing that this girl is not the same as the other girl. You are more than capable of evaluating your feelings and determining any risks or lack there of. If you drag this girl into your drama, the motivation isn't to protect her from you, it is to create drama where none needs to exist.
Think of it another way. Anytime someone reminds you of a person you don't like are you then going to involve them in your drama? Throughout a lifetime there will be more than this original girl you believe abused you, there will be other people you believe victimized you and what will you do each time you are reminded of such a person by a new individual? Tell them your story of abuse? Inform them how they remind you of some previous person you didn't like?
Don't involve other people. Learn to manage your feelings without dragging other people in.