My girlfriend has ended our relationship.

JuliusFawcett wrote:Yes, looking after yourself is vital

Thank you
IL concentrate on that and see where it takes me.

Feeling sad to read this story, but I can't help in this regard ..

mariareese wrote:Feeling sad to read this story, but I can't help in this regard ..

Thank you for your message. I am finding it hard not to contact her but I am concentrating on myself. I still think about her everyday but I keep telling myself to move forward. She has after all told me I am not wanted. Whether this is due to how she feels right now or that she really doesn't want to be in a relationship with me anymore.

It will be a month on Monday since we last spoke. I have had a week of feeling increasingly anxious and still I am angry. It's my birthday at the weekend. So I guess my hope that she will contact me is making me feel this way. I keep telling myself that she definitely won't contact me. But a part of me really wishes she would.

Are you willing to forgive?

JuliusFawcett wrote:Are you willing to forgive?

To forgive her or myself?

Either/or/both it all has the same effect of dissolving the anger

JuliusFawcett wrote:Either/or/both it all has the same effect of dissolving the anger

I see. Yes i am stuck in a circle at this moment in time. I am angry about the whole situation.

Letting the anger go is bound to involve forgiveness or acceptance of some kind. You appear to still be in opposition to what is actually happening, this is perfectly natural, and as an outsider looking in, who has been through this before, this will not help you find more inner peace.

JuliusFawcett wrote:Letting the anger go is bound to involve forgiveness or acceptance of some kind. You appear to still be in opposition to what is actually happening, this is perfectly natural, and as an outsider looking in, who has been through this before, this will not help you find more inner peace.

Yea I am trying to look at it from her point of view. It took strength to meet me face to face and tell me what was happening. I'm not there yet but thinking about it from her point of view is helping me.

I keep going over little things like conversations and things that I done wrong. Things I didn't say to her. It's funny how I am searching every corner of my memory. I am keeping myself busy but it's like I am on autopilot.

What about focusing on what you can do right now? What can you do well in this moment?

devaalman wrote:. I am keeping myself busy but it's like I am on autopilot.

You are not keeping yourself busy with activities that engage your mind.

Cleaning the apartment or going to the gym keep you physically busy, but the mind wanders. Get engaged in activities that require you engage your mind. One of the best is social activities (not online).

JuliusFawcett wrote:What about focusing on what you can do right now? What can you do well in this moment?

Hi. I have been keeping my mind busy and focusing on myself and what I want to do in the future. I still feel that I would like to be back with her. But I also have been thinking this is not possible and I am looking at the negatives of the relationship. Instead of trough the rose tinted glass. Reality is a good help. I still swing from being fine with everything to wanting to contact her. I know if I contact her at the moment I will put myself back to square one. Thanks to all the commenters. I will continue the way I am going.
Keep you posted

Hi, I'm doing a bit better now. But over the Christmas period I will probably bump into her if I go out to meet up with friends.
We have mutual friends/small town. I am afraid of how I will react to seeing her.
Should I do my best not to bump into her. As in avoiding places and days I know she is more likely to be around.