My girlfriend is having emotional blunting

Postby Marco-123 » Wed Dec 22, 2021 9:35 am

Hi everyone,

In this recent 2 years my girlfriend (i’ve been in relationship with her 4 years ago now) started having emotional problems, at the start she thoughts that she only lost feelings for me but the problem was worse than that. 8 months ago she went to a psychologist and discovered that she has emotional problems that it even happens with her siblings. He told her that it was due the her family problems. Now idk how to act with her bc sometimes she become so cold; that’s painful for me; but she still has sometimes where she get back her feelings and become sweet with me. Is there some way to heal her or like how to act with her when she becomes cold ? Or she will stay like this until her family problems stops (or won’t live with her parents anymore) ?
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Dec 22, 2021 7:28 pm

Focus on establishing or negotiating clear boundaries, limits, or expectations of the relationship.

Let the rest go.

A mistake I have made in the past and see happen repeatedly is one person trying to “help” “fix” or “save” the other person. It is understandable to want to be the helper, but it almost always backfires.

Do not enable her cold behavior. Do not act as if it is acceptable. How she acts around other people, including her siblings, is none of your business. How she acts around you and treats you, that is your business.

In establishing a clear boundary, limit, expectation, I would make it clear that certain behaviors that are “cold” are unacceptable. I would have some patience, but there are limits as well. I would not enable her cold behaviors.
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#2

Postby tokeless » Thu Dec 23, 2021 12:23 pm

Added to what Richard has said, people will treat you how you let them. When she is being cold towards you, go and see friends or do something and leave her with the emotions, because this is about her, not you, so you shouldn't be the emotional punch bag.
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#3

Postby Marco-123 » Sat Dec 25, 2021 11:19 am

Thanks for your replies guys, i will let her some room and see how things will go
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