Marijuana induced hell help

Pls I need help, some months ago I smoked marijuana for the first time and got severe anxiety, I slept off woke up the next morning feeling fine then exactly a week later the anxiety came back I thought I was going mad my heart was pounding, I couldn't think straight lots of unconnected thoughts couldn't sleep so I took diazapam and I think that where my problem started, I woke up the next morning feeling like I never slept at all music looping in my head , to cut it short over the past five months this are my symptoms;
Intense Feeling like am in a dream
Head feels clogged
Can't hold a thought
Annoying unconnected thoughts
Can't understand things the way they are like I could be watching a romance movie and be feeling scared
Can't sense my environment
Can't concentrate
Feeling like you are walled off from the world by a glass
Can't feel what am seeing or hearing
Unconnected thoughts
Music playing in my head 24 7
Dream every day
Feel like am thinking while sleeping
Ears ringing
And anxiety
Pls this is too much for me I don't know if it was the weed or the drug that did this to me pls I really need help, always thinking of killing my self but I really want to live pls what should I do or if you know anyone who has gone through my exact symptom and got better letting me know will mean the world to me I don't have access to professional psychiatrist pls I can only rely on advise I get on the Internet pls help