Anger over past abuse

The past is over, how do we let it go?

Are you willing to change?

Are you willing to forgive?

This video can help you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6vx8GZ ... iKlBvXgIFs

altec wrote:I was molested by a family friend when I was a child. I told my parents and they didn't believe me.

I never really got over it. I still feel angry about it. I try not to think about it but sometimes I'm reminded of it when I'm reading a book, a movie, or surfing the internet. I'll be fine for a long time and then something triggers my feelings of anger and helplessness. It interferes with my concentration, sleep patterns, and my appetite. Sometimes I feel wired for days. I want to get over it but I don't know how.

I'm tired of feeling like this. Is there something I can do to relieve these feelings?

Dear altec,

I am sorry to hear what you have been through with both the family friend and your parents not believing you. You did the right thing in speaking to them about it and you were honest with yourself.

Many people experience events like these as traumatic causing pain, anger, anxiety and helplessness. While the physical pain may be long gone, it is the mental and emotional pain that need healing. The best way I know to heal from events like these is by carefully working with the past to re-experience those events (in your mind) in a new way. Many of the clients I have worked with have experienced sexual molestation and were able to recover. You CAN heal from them so that they are no longer a trigger for painful emotions.

Best of luck to you,
Suzanne

Hi,
Yes,you need to talk this through with a good counsellor,it's the only
thing that will put it into perspective for you--PROPER perspective.
The way out is THROUGH,not around.
Deepest Respect,
jimindigo

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about what happens to you. It is always not easy letting go that anger.

And you also mentioned that "something" that always triggers that emotional pain, and anger, until it is draining your energy and your life.

Perhaps this is what you can do:

1) Realize and understand what is the things that "triggers" that emotion? Is is when someone say certain words? Certain gesture, or certain scene in a movie etc.

This is called anchoring - certain action/incident/ location that will trigger's a person's feeling.

2) Consciously pick up that the thoughts - once you are aware where and when the triggers happened, SNAP OUT OF IT!

HOW? Meaning, do something that brings you back to the present, and ADD NO MEANING to the present situation. you can do somthing like SNAP your finger and live in the NOW. Or say "UP!'' out of a sudden, or clap your hands etc
( Anything that will snap you right back to the present. This is called PATTERN INTERRUPTION.

When you interrupt your pattern, realize how your emotion gets down, cool down better, and not much intense emotion any more.

Hope this little guide helps.

I have something very similar. I was also molested when I was a child, though not by family. For years I really struggled with anger because of what happened and even worse I sent that anger at myself. For years I really struggled with basically hating myself and this person. To be honest I still struggle with it at times. I think the best thing I can suggest is to try and work with God about it. I am religious and I give credit to my being able to stop being angry to the savior who helped me. It wasn't easy but I was able to do it. I gave him my heart by praying every time I felt anger to feel forgiveness towards this person and eventually I stopped getting angry.

Forgiveness is so powerful in dissolving anger, one does not need to be religious to engage in forgiveness

Hi Altec,

I'm so sorry you went through what you did. I think many survivors go through phases of feeling angry about what happened to them, though speaking to a therapist to process these issues may be very helpful to you.
Please don't feel as though you have to forgive - this will happen if and when you are ready.

Take care.