jimmyh wrote:ask not to be hypnotized for known goals,
You might have linked to this thread a whole lot earlier, you know; woulda saved some brain juice! At least on my part - and maybe on yours, too.
And the person never took you up on it??
jimmyh wrote:ask not to be hypnotized for known goals,
jimmyh wrote:What does this refer to, exactly?
Magnap wrote:If anyone is interested in either the roleplay or the real life scenario I am up for it.jimmyh wrote:However, I'd *love* to do that role play. I know I do not embody the art as far as I can see it, so training will do me good. Heck, it gives the best of both drilling and trial by fire. It'll expose the holes in my game while also giving me time to find the solution and install it so that it comes naturally next time. If that's what you want to do, I'd really appreciate it. Just give me a context.
jimmyh wrote:Well, congratulations. That sounds like that must be both exciting and a relief.
jimmyh wrote:moonlightress wrote:I’m still getting the usual 2-3 night-time ones, that wake me up [...] (How do I tackle them when I’m asleep?)
It seems like what’s going on in cases like this is that you’re operating on something that ends up getting dropped for sleep, and then without that layer of regulation going on, you revert to the old process and therefore the old results. […]
Another interesting thing is to notice which things wake us up and why. […]
It’s just that my brain is discriminating between “this isn’t worth waking up for” and “this is”. […]
This can be changed through conscious intention. […]
Instead of “forgetting about it” at night, I’d just try going to bed with the reminder that you’re probably going to get heat fluctuations at night too, and that it’s still likely to be okay enough to not bother waking up for or sweating about (literally and otherwise).
What makes you think there aren’t sensations for these other things that you haven’t noticed yet? […] Haven’t you had the experience where your stomach feels a bit off and you have to try to figure out whether these feelings mean “hungry” or “do not* eat” or something else?
Oh, well that is worthy of eye rolling. You’re definitely being a little silly playing with those training wheels of yours, since it’s part of you, not some imaginary friend inside your head.
[…] But you understand how “feeling hot” will change the physical things like “I’m wearing a jacket”, right? You just take the jacket off when you no longer feel like it’d be a good thing to keep wearing. It’s not weird that your brain would coordinate with your body to use its biomechanical actuators to remove excess clothing to help with regulating to its desired setpoint.
It’s only weird because we’re not used to the idea that we can “consciously” control the other actuators we have to influence physical things. It’s harder to watch ourselves constricting and expanding blood vessels, sweat pores, and the like, so it’s harder to associate the inputs with the outputs and be able to reflect on when our behavior isn’t making sense (“doing things consciously”).
However, that does not mean we lack the actuators or that they are not being controlled by a regulating system. It just means we’re not used to being in touch with that control panel. (my bolding).
We can anthropomorphize simple control systems like a bimetallic strip thermostat
However, there *is* a process looking at the temperature and actively correcting that to keep the temperature in a certain spot. […]
In this sense, the curvature of the bimetallic strip or that sense that the ball is “out of place” can function like “beliefs”. Not as a “thing we tell ourself we believe”, but as a model of the outside world and its difference from what we’d like it to be.
As you start to introspect and reverse engineer yourself, often things which start out seeming like “just sensations” end up looking more like embodied parts of our beliefs, and become modifiable as we do. Instead of “that hurts, and I don’t like the pain”, it’s “wow, my leg is damaged, and I don’t like that my leg is damaged” […]
It’s not that the physical sensation itself feels any different, it’s just that when it has a different meaning you respond to it differently and that same sensation of pain can now exist free of aversion. Instead of “this sensation that’s bad and I don’t like” it’s just part of your brain and body’s beliefs about the state of your leg, and nothing to fret over (beyond just fretting about the state of your leg *itself*, maybe). Just like how it feels like something to have the thought “I think my leg is broken”, it feels like something to have your nerves firing, and for that to be interpreted as actual damage, and so on and so forth.
I agree, but how do you just not sweat?
By not feeling too hot.
It sounds like you’re getting to the point of losing credibility and pushing for things which are currently beyond the trust you have to invest. If you have someone encouraging you with “you’re fine” it’ll help at first, but at some point if they don’t seem to notice you struggle and show no sign of ever saying anything *else*, it starts to become hard to believe them. “When wouldn’t you say that!?”. If you get into that situation, no matter how much or how strongly you reassure “you’re fine” it won’t help because the issue is no longer “they don’t realize you think they’re fine” it’s “they do not trust your judgement of what ‘fine’ is”. In those cases, you stop telling people what’s fine and what’s not. Instead, help give them some room to relax and not tolerate the questionably tolerable and inquire with curiosity into the fineness or lack thereof. If it’s not fine, why not? In what way are things not fine, and how do we know that?
If you do that, one of two things will happen. 1) you will learn how things actually aren’t fine, and therefore know not to keep pushing things, or 2) you will help them realize that things are *still* fine, and that you were right once again. Either way is a win. Additionally, either way the person will start to trust you a lot more, since now they can see that you care and are open to their perspective.
Cocky, obnoxious, and… right? Transcendent? Hopefully I’m living up to my new nickname![]()
Seemed like you were about to do what we did in the previous thread, but then the thread ran dead.
I can’t say I actually figured out how it happened. It didn’t involve doing anything, just seeing that it could be possible and really wanting it. It doesn’t make sense to me how it worked.
I don’t consider myself a “heavy sleeper” either, but maybe that’s just a name for people who tune out stuff they don’t have to wake up for? Is this what you’re talking about? But doesn’t everyone do this? Isn’t that why we have the expression “tuning it out”? (Same way we have the expression “zoning out” for trance, because everyone does it?) Yet clearly it *does* involve setting an intention. You’re saying I could do that with temperature too? Just set that intention not to wake up for those sensations, either? I’ll try it out.
I guess I have, yeah. Sometimes it isn’t hunger, it’s boredom. Or sadness. Hence “comfort food/ comfort eating” Or metaphorical hunger; like a kind of soul hunger or sense that there is an empty hole in your life, that manifests (or is interpreted?) as body/stomach hunger – that what you mean? But I don’t catch where you were going with this.
Yeah, I do have that belief of being unable to access the control panel, although that belief is getting shakier, the longer we talk. But it’s still a mental hurdle.
(There’s this inferential gap thing you have, that makes you hard to follow sometimes, where you assume everyone’s an engineer (and a rationalist, for that matter) and knows what a bimetallic strip thermostat is and how it works, but ok, I looked it up and now I do. Mutter, mutter --- clever mechanism, though. )
Biologically speaking, homeostasis. (We are talking a degree of biological engineering, after all?) Ok. I can see it as the body’s ‘belief’ that it needs to keep things like pH, via (among other mechanisms) keeping blood levels of O2 and CO2, within a narrow range for the machine to function optimally. Some divers are able to stay underwater for longer than average periods of time by hyperventilating and modifying their blood O2 and CO2 levels - getting in touch with that control panel. That’s at the “feel hot, activate muscles to remove jacket” level. Breathing normally happens by itself without any conscious control via involuntary muscles, yet you can override this by using voluntary muscles to take deliberate deep breaths. But vasoconstriction and -dilation is a level up; what is the physical mechanism that needs to be activated here, on a practical level?
Arrgghhh how do I just ‘not feel too hot’? You can explain till the cows come home that it’s a belief, and I *get* that it’s a belief, but I don’t know how to change that belief. When I look at “am I too hot?” the answer is “yes, dammit”.
It sounds like MCM getting to the point of losing credibility and pushing for things which are currently beyond the trust MCM have to invest. If S is encouraging L with “L fine ” it’ll help at first, but at some point if S don’t seem to notice L struggle and show no sign of ever saying anything *else*, it starts to become hard to believe S. “When wouldn’t S say that!?”. If S get into that situation, no matter how much or how strongly S reassure “L fine” it won’t help because the issue is no longer “L don’t realize S think L’re fine” it’s “L do not trust S’s judgement of what ‘fine’ is”. In those cases, S stop telling people what’s fine and what’s not. Instead, help give L some room to relax and not tolerate the questionably tolerable and inquire with curiosity into the fineness or lack thereof. If it’s not fine, why not? In what way are things not fine, and how do S know that?
If S does that, one of two things will happen. 1) S will learn how things actually aren’t fine, and therefore know not to keep pushing things, or 2) S will help L realize that things are *still* fine, and that S were right once again. Either way is a win. Additionally, either way L will start to trust S a lot more, since now they can see that S care and are open to L’s perspective.
Can you clarify, in these last 2 paragraphs who is saying what to whom? You mention ‘you’ and ‘them’ and ‘people’ but it isn’t clear who ‘you’ or ‘they’ are, at times.
moonlightress wrote:I don’t consider myself a “heavy sleeper” either, but maybe that’s just a name for people who tune out stuff they don’t have to wake up for? Is this what you’re talking about? But doesn’t everyone do this? Isn’t that why we have the expression “tuning it out”?
Yet clearly it *does* involve setting an intention. You’re saying I could do that with temperature too? Just set that intention not to wake up for those sensations, either? I’ll try it out.
jimmyh wrote:That’s the idea. If you can do it when you’re awake, and when you’re awake you can set intentions for things that happen when you aren’t, then why not here too?
jimmyh wrote:You were saying “I don't get your "am I hungry" example. You can tell if you’re hungry or thirsty, you get bodily sensations that tell you so.” . My point was that hunger wasn’t simply one signal that tells you “I’m hungry” when it’s there, and the absence means “I’m not hungry”. The things you’re thinking of as “bodily sensations” have non-trivial meanings, and the things where you see only the meanings have sensations.
It’s possible to be so busy doing stuff that the sensations of hunger never arise, despite a large caloric deficit. It’s possible to have multiple distinct sensations (which each represent different things) get bundled together and interpreted as simply “hunger”. When you look closer, you can start to discriminate between “this sensation means I need more protein” and “this sensations means my blood sugar is low”, and it starts to feel less like “there is a sensation for hunger” and more like “there are many sensations for hungers”.
The point is that it’s not necessarily any simpler than anything else you’d “ask your SC” and wait to see on ideomotor signals. In both cases you can pay attention to the sensation itself or the meaning attributed to it, and in both cases these can be more nuanced than they may seem.
jimmyh wrote: The person in the control room generally doesn’t like listening to clueless idiots, so you do have to learn to get a clue before you get any results, and that comes out feeling like “I don’t have access to the control panel” because as it is, you really don’t. But it’s still there, and if you get good at empathizing with these kinds of things and using “futile protestations” as a signal to change tactics, it’ll start feeling more and more doable.
moonlightress wrote:Arrgghhh how do I just ‘not feel too hot’? You can explain till the cows come home that it’s a belief, and I *get* that it’s a belief, but I don’t know how to change that belief. When I look at “am I too hot?” the answer is “yes, dammit”.
jimmyh wrote: Well, if you’re really too hot, why would you want to change it?
I’m aware that this sounds like a troll question, but it’s not. If you really are too hot, why would you want to change that.
The way to being more persuasive, whether it’s to your smooth muscle or teenage daughter, is to first convince them that you understand their side and aren’t trying to under value it. Once you can assure them of that, they no longer have to hold onto their objection, and if you still see your original answer as the right one, you’ll have their trust to enact it. The thing is, in order to convince them of that, you need to listen. You ask yourself “am I too hot?” and get the answer of “yes, dammit!”. You’re not happy with this answer and think “sh**, that didn’t work!”, but have you considered that maybe this is because you’re too hot? It sounds like “I’m not too hot” is just a foregone conclusion in your mind, and that lack of openness is precisely what shuts down this communication and gets you locked out of the control room.
Basically, you’re being too pushy, and so your body says “I don’t trust you, crazy lady”
jimmyh wrote:Go into that feeling, as slowly as you have to/as quickly as you can manage, and keep in mind why you think it’s okay and see if it can remain convincing when you approach things suitably slowly.
moonlightress wrote:Can you clarify, in these (next) 3 paragraphs who is saying what to whom? You mention ‘you’ and ‘them’ and ‘people’ but it isn’t clear who ‘you’ or ‘they’ are, at times.
jimmyh wrote:Okay, I went through and replaced them with either “S” for “speaker” or “L” for “listener”, or "MCM" for "moonlightress's conscious mind". It’s mostly so that you can see how to S better, but it applies in all cases, regardless of whether L is “your SC” or somebody else, or whether you find yourself relating more to L in some other situation.
It sounds like MCM getting to the point of losing credibility and pushing for things which are currently beyond the trust MCM have to invest. If S is encouraging L with “L fine ” it’ll help at first, but at some point if S don’t seem to notice L struggle and show no sign of ever saying anything *else*, it starts to become hard to believe S. “When wouldn’t S say that!?”. If S get into that situation, no matter how much or how strongly S reassure “L fine” it won’t help because the issue is no longer “L don’t realize S think L’re fine” it’s “L do not trust S’s judgement of what ‘fine’ is”. In those cases, S stop telling people what’s fine and what’s not. Instead, help give L some room to relax and not tolerate the questionably tolerable and inquire with curiosity into the fineness or lack thereof. If it’s not fine, why not? In what way are things not fine, and how do S know that?
If S does that, one of two things will happen. 1) S will learn how things actually aren’t fine, and therefore know not to keep pushing things, or 2) S will help L realize that things are *still* fine, and that S were right once again. Either way is a win. Additionally, either way L will start to trust S a lot more, since now they can see that S care and are open to L’s perspective.
moonlightress wrote: But vasoconstriction and -dilation is a level up; what is the physical mechanism that needs to be activated here, on a practical level?
jimmyh wrote:As to the other part, I’m not a biologist, but my understanding is that our blood vessels have a layer of smooth muscle over them that constricts when you need vasoconstriction.
And yeah, of course I google but my conceptual repertoire has had to expand considerably to interpret what you're trying to convey, and looking everything up is hard work, so 'bimetallic strip thermostat' was just like, "what, physics too?"
I think I am only now seeing that clearly I’m simply not listening enough to the different sensations. And I’m only really starting to catch on to how much listening and noticing is required.
THIS. This was *totally* what was happening and no wonder I got locked out of the control room. Because in these cases I really WAS too hot. I was trying to say "no you're not too hot; don't be too hot" when I clearly *was* too hot. No wonder the crazy lady wasn't trustworthy.Basically, you’re being too pushy, and so your body says “I don’t trust you, crazy lady”
Not a total change, but then it needs to stay within the realm of what is actually doable, doesn't it?
Some nights I still wake up twice, throw off the duvet and break a major sweat all over and *need* to cool off. Then I’m awake until I’ve cooled and *try* not to pull in any thoughts while I wait, or it’s tickets for getting back to sleep. Sometimes I’m able to just go back to sleep after. But some nights it only happens once, and on the odd night not at all. I can’t tell if it’s still happening just as frequently and just not waking me as much, or maybe waking me but I'm getting back to sleep so quickly I can’t actually remember having wakened - but my experience of it has definitely changed.
The smooth muscle is the involuntary muscle - that you're saying can get under voluntary control if you're nice (and respectfully listening) to the person in the control room, right?
Is that the same as the above mechanism you’ve explained? If you’re too hot, you’re too hot and you *need* the physiological sweating response and shouldn’t be tampering with that. But there are nuances and sometimes you actually aren’t *too* hot and it’s ok not to sweat? Am I understanding that correctly?
jimmyh wrote:This one is pretty tame. All that you really need for that example is that there’s some “thing” called a “bimetallic strip” and it does something mechanical when exposed to different temperatures, which somehow is used to close or open a switch.
How do you know you really were too hot? What might have happened if you had not cooled off, and how do you know it would have happened?
After all, it’s still odd to go so quickly from “totally fine” to “WAY TOO HOT”, no?
It’s worth noting that just because you weren’t listening well and were discounting the strength of the other side’s evidence doesn’t mean you’re wrong. You can get blown off for good reason even when you’re right, and listening better does not *necessarily* mean you have to change your mind. It just means that you listen until they say “okay, you get it, I trust you”. At that point, if you still don’t agree…
Not a total change, but then it needs to stay within the realm of what is actually doable, doesn't it?
That is an unfortunate limitation, yes. However, I caution you not to conclude that something is “not doable” just because the first approach fails. Maybe it’s not doable, maybe it is. You won’t know until you find out.
[…]
Perhaps your heat regulation isn’t as on point when sleeping, and your body temp drifts up higher before you end up bothered enough to take the blankets off? I know that’s true with me. That would suggest a different approach. Again, a temperature measurement would be interesting and useful here.
Our hearts aren’t under direct voluntary control either, but one can learn to affect that as well. I can usually get it down 5-7bpm or so, and then my finger pulse oximeter shows dropping oxygen saturation and my heart rate won’t drop any further (and might even come back up a bit).
cathB wrote:Wow! long post. Remember to Breathe hun. it's all in the Breath.[...]
I like your signature "Intention and Expectation" from that Are you more of the "Dave Elman" thinking approach or do you lean towards Ericksonian? From you posts I'd say you're old school am I right?
I'm really just a self-hypnosis subject and trance junkie, with a lot of curiosity. I came to hypnosis from some Simpson Protocol sessions with Ines Simpson (who uses an Elman induction) and my interest grew from there. I'm not a hypnotist and have no training, formal or informal, at all.
Although, I did actually get to text-hypnotise someone last week, my very first time, because he had acquired a text trigger and wanted someone to test it on him. He's a hypnotist, too, so he coached me a bit beforehand. An experienced and conditioned subject, he really hypnotised himself, but he said the text trigger did work. Cool experience, could definitely get used to that.