I can’t believe this is even a thing for me at my age. I’ve been single for a long time, and I’ve been happy. All of a sudden, I started having feelings for a friend of mine, and have no idea what to do. I’m under the impression that if a man is interested, he’ll pursue you, but we’re already friends, so that doesn’t really apply. On top of that, I would say we’re both poor at the emotional side of things – very much so – plus a lot of fear stemming from that. Not physically expressive either. Neither of us has had any particularly long relationships before, nor have we ever been married. I’m 30+, he’s 40+
There have been moments I got weird vibes, and thought something was going to happen (this was before I realized I liked him more), so I kind of backed off/created a bit of distance. I regret this now. He’s always thoughtful when we’re out (protective, walks me home, offers to carry things), but that could be with everyone. I don’t know. Only bought me a drink once. He doesn’t have any other female friends (or many friends at all), so no point of reference. He isn't a texter, but generally responds to mine with humor/absurdity. More of a speak in person sort - probably his age more than anything.
I would love to have him ask me out on a proper date, something, but I don't think he ever will, and I'm too much of a coward to do it myself. I don't even know if he is actually interested. I’m thinking maybe just walk away. I have lost a lot of sleep over this, and it’s seriously having a detrimental effect on all facets of my life. The main problem is we work in the same place (not together, so I only see him in the hall/break room), so it’s harder to cut him out entirely. (I don’t need a lecture on workplace politics. Our company is lax.)
I suppose what I’m asking is should I walk away, or HOW should I walk away? If I don't, how should I go about letting him know without being uncomfortable? I don’t want to lose a friend, but at the same time, that would be preferable to losing my mind.